Thursday, June 20, 2013

Yes I'm scared!

Truth be told, I'm scared.  That's not something I readily admit because I like to think I am fearless.  I guess when it comes to my kids, I'm not.

We decided earlier this year to homeschool.  We know it's the right thing for our family, the kids are excited, we are excited.  We've found a great support system, friends to encourage us along the way, and we are ready to embark on this journey.

But I'm scared.  There.  I said it.  I am scared.  Not afraid.  Scared.

As my good friend Terri said (she is a lot better with words than I), it's ok to be scared because keeps moving you forward.  Being afraid paralizes you.

So I am scared.  We are going to homeschool, and I know it's going to be a great adventure for all us.  But I'm still scared.  There are so many decisions to be made.  I have yet to narrow down my curriculum because I keep thinking "is this the best one for my kids?".  I worry that my children will hate me for making this decision for them.  I worry that I'll be hindering their learning by teaching them at home.

Then I remember that we are their first teachers.  No one, no teacher in the world, no matter how dedicated, loves them more than we do.  I know what they like and what they dislike.  I know how they learn, what excites them and what bores them. I know one loves dinosaurs and will watch documentaries about them without ever saying "this is boring".  I know the other loves learning about animals, and insects.  He will start a collection of bugs if I let him bring them in the house.  And my girl loves music.  All music. Not just the pop music kids listen to these days.  She knows about Bach, Beethoven, and Mozart and has her favorites.  She loves the Beatles, and has taught herself to play several of their songs on the piano.  

I can build a curriculum around their likes and dislikes or  I can buy a curriculum that comes in a box.  The choice is mine.  It all depends on whether I am going to be scared or afraid.

I guess I will chose to be scared and move forward; praying along the way that fear doesn't get in the way.

1 comment:

Dana said...

It is okay to be scared Kayra. It's great that you can even admit it. Change is scary and you are making a big change. But if you think it is best for your family, then it is. You will all be fine. Just breathe and keep praying sweetie!!!