Monday, July 8, 2013

I'm just me and that's good enough

Since we decided to homeschool earlier this year, I've been doing research.  I've read blog after blog, I've researched methods, looked at curriculums, read reviews for both methods and curriculums.  I've had a full homeschool overload.

It seems the more I read, the more I researched, the more my insecurities grew.  I had a few nights where I couldn't go to sleep, overwhelmed with the numerous decisions we had to make.  What curriculum is the best?  What method should I use?  What if my kids hate me for homeschooling them?

I came across a blog the other day (posted by another homeschool mom) that made me realize I'm not alone.  It's ok to be afraid, as long as you don't let the fears take over.

Bottom line is we are not like all other families.  We haven't ever fit the "mold" that most families fit in.  Why start now?

Our homeschool is going to be a reflection of who we are, of our family.  It's not going to be like anyone elses'.  We are unique individuals, and a unique family, so our choices for homeschooling will be unique too.

Talk about having an epiphany!

We may not have a "homeschool room" that resembles a classroom, but we are still going to learn.  We may not use the curriculum the majority of the people we know use, but we will use what works for us.  After all, this "school" doesn't have to fit inside any mold, we can make what we want to fit our needs.

I'm not a perfect mother but I love my kids more than anything in this world.  I want them to love to learn, to be fascinated by all the things that surround them, to discover the beauty of this world.  There is not curriculum that will teach that.  That can only come from us, and how much fun we make this adventure.

So I've come to terms with the fact I'm just me.  A very analytical, scientific mother who does endless research before making a decision.  I may choose engineering based math for my kids and expect them to learn Spanish this next year, and add home economics to our curriculum.  But the bottom line is, I won't set them up for failure.  

I'm their mother, and I know them better than anyone.  And as long as I let my love for them guide the decisions we make, that will be good enough.