Jeff

This blog is dedicated to my brother in law, Jeff, he is one of the kindest persons I know, and I'm priviledged to know him.

I have known Jeff for many years, too many to count, really. He has been there in the good times and the bad ones. We've had our moments when we fought, times when we didn't speak to each other, but I always knew he'd be there if I needed him.

He was there when I graduated high school, when I picked my major, when I picked Ole Miss. He believed in me even when I doubted myself. Through the years, he has offered his support unconditionally.

Last year, when I announced I wanted to run the Chicago marathon, Jeff said "I know you can do it". Before I even started training, he had given me a pedometer, and other "running" stuff to get me started.

He was there, along with my sister Joyce, and nieces Stephanie and Aurora, to watch me run the marathon last year. Even though I wasn't able to finish because they closed the race, he believed I was a winner.

What could I do to show him how much I appreciate all his support throughout the years? I took him to the first meeting for Marathon Makeover 2008. I told him he, too, could run the Chicago marathon. I sat with him in the first meeting, and told him the first mile would be the hardest. If he could get past that first mile, he could run Chicago.

And he, once again, believed in me. He signed up to train for the marathon. He went through the pain, and the exhilaration only those who have done it before can understand. And last weekend, he ran the Chicago marathon!

I could not be prouder. I am so happy that he believed in me when I told him he could do it. I am glad that I was able to "introduce" him to marathoning. I didn't get to see him run, but I was there in spirit. He finished the race, and now joins those who can call themselves marathoners.

There will be more marathons in both our futures, I hope. Maybe we'll run one together.

So thanks Jeff, for always reminded me I can achieve greatness. I've seen you do it, I'm just glad to be a witness to your life.

Making Strides against Breast Cancer

Many of us know someone whose life has been touched by breast cancer. In my case, my cousin is a breast cancer survivor. She was diagnosed after she found a lump during a self-exam and went to the doctor. That simple act of giving herself a self exam may have saved her life. She is cancer free, after undergoing a mastectomy.

I was so happy to see her this past summer, when I went to Panama. She is so full of life, and so happy to be alive, it is contagious. I am so happy she is still able to enjoy the little things in life. As she said to me, never take your life for granted, even the smallest things, or the insignificant moments. It all matters.

Again this year, I am helping raise money for the American Cancer Society's "Making Strides against Breast Cancer". I want to help raise awareness about this disease and educate women ( and men) about it. A little education can go a long way.

Many people around the metro area are supporting this cause also, so if someone approaches you and asks for a donation, please consider giving. Think about your mother, daughter, sister, friend. Think about all the special women in your life, and consider donating in their honor.

To make a donation for my walk, just click on my website. You can make your donation online, and every dollar makes a big difference!

http://main.acsevents.org/goto/kayra-panama10

Change is good

I'm still looking for 6 extra hours in the day, so I can have plenty of time to update this blog.

A lot of changes going on everywhere. Fall is in the air. Not only are the seasons changing, there is change in Wall Street, we have an election coming up, change is definitely in the air.

There are a lot of changes going on at home too. New opportunities in the horizon, some fading away. We are getting ready to write new chapters at home, that's for sure.

My husband has joined the ranks of Stay at Home Dads. He will be staying home, tending to the kids and all the other things that surface day to day. He definitely now has the hardest job there is, and I truly admire him for making this decision.
The adjustment will be hard, I'm certain of it. But I know the kids are going to love having daddy around all the time and having him take care of them rather than daycare.
I also know one day, when they are all grown up, they will cherish those times with dad and will admire him for the decision he made to stay home with them.

My daughter is taking piano lessons, so our house is now filled with the sound of music. She has a innate ability for music, and has taken up piano very quickly. She is growing up before my own eyes, and I'm in awe at the person she is becoming.
I know she will love having her dad around all the time, and I know this will have a great impact on her in the years to come.

The twins will also be adjusting. They will be staying home with dad, and learning how to be good men from dad.

And I will be adjusting to my new role as well. I hope I remember to be supportive of him, and to never take him or his job for granted.

Trying to catch up

I need a 30 hour day, please. If I only had a few more hours, maybe I could catch up with the tons of stuff I need to do.
It seems these days I am running around, from work to school to church, back to work... It's never ending.

I spent last week in Denver attending a training class. It was my first time in Denver, and that was exciting in itself. We had a chance to stay downtown, at the Curtis. If you've ever go to Denver, check that hotel out.
Every floor has a "theme", I stayed on the "Laugh outloud" floor. The decor were basically pictures of different comedians, like Lucy, Three Stooges, etc. Really cool. And the best part, it was just 2 blocks from 16th street, where all the shops and restaurants are.

The class was very good and relevant to my line of work. I'm guessing only a handful of people would classify a groundwater geochemistry class as "good". I'm one of those people. I was reminded of how much I really like chemistry. I'm an odd bird, I know.

Came home to find one of the boys sick. Fever, runny nose, congestion. I guess it's a summer cold, aggravated by allergies. Ended up missing work most of this week, because boy#2 also got sick. He is still home getting over his illness.

Aside from taking care of the boys, there was still dance class , and piano lessons, and soccer practices to go to. I wonder what it will be like when all three kids have after school activities? One of us will have a full time job taking everyone to their respective stuff.

Last but not least, there is church. I'm teaching Sunday school and I'm also involved in another program for adults, so that also has to be added to my schedule. And of course, there is still housework to be done.

So if anyone knows how I can add another 6 hrs to my day, please share the info. I need them.

Happy Birthday Candace!

I saw her for the first time seven years ago today. After waiting for almost 12 hrs, she finally made her entrance into this world at 5:12 PM. I was surprised to see how alert she was. She didn't cry, she just looked around at all the people welcoming her into this world.

Her big brown eyes made quite an impression on me. They weren't typical newborn eyes, with their sleepy look. They were bright, alert, scanning the room, inspecting everything. She didn't cry and I wondered if something was wrong, weren't newborns suppose to cry as soon as they were born? It wasn't until they started to clean her up and weigh her that she cried, only for a few seconds. She stopped as soon as she heard her father's voice.

She immediately took her place in our family, commanding attention when she wanted it, as all newborns did. She was fiercily independent from the start, wanting to do everything by herself. She was a lot of hard work, but always worth it.

I look at her in awe and amazement to see what an incredible human being she is. Her compassion surpases her young life, she always has a smile, a hug, ready when you need it the most. She is bright, intelligent, and well mannered, loving, all the qualities you want to see in a child. She loves to laugh, to have fun, to cuddle and watch movies, and Ben&Jerry's ice cream.

She is a tomboy and a girlie girl all wrapped up in one. She loves to go fishing with her grandparents, as much as she loves dresses, cute haircuts, and toenail polish.

She is a gift from above, and I will be forever thankful that she chose me to be her mother.

Seven years ago

I'm pretty certain most people remember where they were, what they were doing, when the planes hit and the towers fell. I'm certainly one of them.

Even as I was watching one of those shows in the History channel, it all seemed so surreal, almost as if watching a movie with a horrible ending. If I hadn't been alive when it happened, I'd probably wonder if it truly happened.

I was 38 wks pregnant with my first child. I had preeclampsia and the doctor was going to induce so I was on my way to my last office appointment. My legs were twice their size and so were my hands, and I could no longer sleep because I could not get comfortable.

The fact I was bringing a child into this world was terrifying in itself. Millions of questions raced through my mind : What if I mess up? What if I don't know how to take care of a baby? Will I ever sleep for 8 uninterrupted hours?

We got the call from mother in law about the planes, so we knew something was happening by the time we arrived at the doctor's office. Perhaps we were too self absorbed, but none of that seemed important enough, we just wanted to make sure that kid was going to be ok and that I would be around to watch her grow up.

I sat the rest of the day on the couch, at home, watching the news unfold, and wondering what kind of world I was bringing this child into. And worrying about whether I had enough diapers, clothes, bottles and all other gadgets I thought I would need.

When people talk about the events of Sept 11 and get emotional about it, I feel bad because it was one of the happiest times of my life. The anticipation of finally meeting my first child, my little girl, the excitement of finally seeing her face overshadowed anything else that happened that day.

My heart aches for the families of those who lost their lives that day. But when I look in my daughter's eyes, I know there is goodness, hope, and love still in this world.

I just felt like running...

Remember Forrest Gump? I can relate to his quote right now.

I have the itch to run again. Not just run, but train for a half marathon. 13.1 miles.

I trained for the Chicago marathon in 2007 and it was a great experience. Even though the race was cancelled and I didn't get a chance to officially finish the race, it was still one of the best experiences of my life.

I learned a lot about myself while training for Chicago. I learn that age is just a number, that there are a million excuses I could have use to quit. I had 9 month old twins and a 5 yr old when I started training, a full time career, a husband. A million excuses. The amazing group of people who trained with me helped me get through it. They have no idea how much they helped me.

In my closet, there is a somewhat new pair of running shoes. My faithful Saucony Omni shoes, that got me through the streets of Chicago last October. Should I bring them out of retirement?

The 2nd MS Blues Marathon is coming up in January 2009. Last year, I was an spectator, happy to cheer for the runners, some of whom have become my friends. This year, I want to be one of the runners.

Training won't be easy, but the best things in life never are. I find myself missing those long runs from my training last year, when it was just me and the pavement. That section of my day when it's all about me, and what I can do, how far I can run.

Then there is my daughter, who will be 7 on Friday. She wants to run the Kids Marathon portion of the Blues. She has been asking when we are going to run together so she can start logging in her miles. There is no better incentive than to set the example for her.

So I may be running the Blues, and passing the torch to my daughter.

Working and parenting

If you have been watching the news lately, this has been a hot topic lately, because of Sarah Palin's nomination as VP for the GOP.

First, let me say this blog is not about politics. I don't agree with Palin's viewpoints, and this has nothing to do with her qualifications to be a potential VP.

I am, however, a working mother like her. I juggle a career and motherhood the same way she does. Since her nomination, I have heard (in several TV newscasts) reporters questioning whether she would be able to perform as a VP, not because of her experience but because she is a MOTHER.

As if the simple fact she has kids makes her less qualified to perform a job. Like I said, I'm not one of her fans and you won't hear me sing her praises or pledging my support. But I do think it's unfair to assume that because she is a mother, she is incapable of doing a good job, regardless of what that job may be.

As a working mother, I have had to endure my share of comments from people "oh, I'm so SORRY you have to work", or "you must have no time to do X, Y, Z with the kids".
Or they'll make comments about my kids being cared for by other people, or about me loving my career more than my children.

Most of the time, these comments are ignored because I know what's true, and because I don't feel these people deserve an explanation as to the reason for my choices.

Now that a working mother has been put in the spotlight, the same old question has come up again, can a woman have it all? Has anyone questioned whether a man can be a good father and also the President of this country? Does anyone ever question whether a man can have it all, a happy family and a good career?

Being a working mother is not easy, it is a juggling act. We struggle to be the best mothers, best wives, and still have a successful career. Our cars are overrun by toys, books, backpacks, and empty juice boxes. So are our houses. There are toys in the kitchen, and cups in the bedrooms. There are piles of laundry waiting to be done, and piles of clothes waiting to be folded. Most of the time, we hope people will call ahead before visiting so we can at least pick up some of the mess. There are crayon markings on our walls, and fingerprints on the windows, and probably cheerios under the cushions of the sofa.

Make no mistake, we are not lazy. Our houses are not a wreck because we can't handle a career and a home. They are a mess, at least mine is, because we CHOOSE to spend our free time with our kids. We rather snuggle under a blanket and watch Mary Poppins for the 1000th time than clean the house, or do the laundry. We rather go to soccer games, or dance practice, or listen to our kids practice their piano lessons, than stress over how our house may look if someone shows up.

What kind of mothers we are have nothing to do with what we do for a living. I have known mothers who stay home and spend no time with their kids (and will admit so). The kids are in front of the TV while they are preoccupied with keeping up with the Joneses. I have met other moms who make me want to stay home and imitate them. I have met working mothers who make it look easy, and who will be happy to give you the number to their cleaning ladies.

I don't believe my qualifications as an engineer depend on whether or not I have a family, the same way I don't think Sarah Palin's depend on her having one. We must stop putting working mothers down, or making them feel as if they don't love their kids enough. There are many of us who work because we have to and not because we want to. There are many of us who chose to work because we feel we can make a difference in this world, and want our kids to believe they, too, can have it all.Even if having it all means having a house in disarray.

I am proud of being a working mother. One day, my daughter will have to make her own decision, and my sons will be able to support their wives in their decisions, and I hope it will be because I set a good example. Whatever those decisions are, I hope they understand they too can have it all.

New habits, old habits, haircuts, DNC, RNC, Hanna, Ike...

So many things to blog about, so little time.

I was happily surprised to see the money I spend on private education is being put to good use. At least some of it. Part of my duties as the mother of a first grader include attending a mandatory meeting. This meeting is designed to tell us what our kids are going to learn, and how we can help them study at home. In the meeting, they mentioned the kids would be bringing home an "agenda" to keep up with their homework assignments, tests, etc.

First I thought I had misread the list of school supplies because I never bought an agenda. Then they told us they would provide one. I figured it would be a regular notebook, where they could write their assignments and we, the parents, could keep up with it.

She brought the agenda home yesterday for the first time. I started looking through and it looked vaguely familiar. Then I read the intro pages and the agenda is geared towards kids and based on the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.

How cool is that? Yes, I'm showing my geek side by getting excited about something like this. But I think it's awesome she is learning to be organized at an early age, and even moreso, that she is being introduced to some great ideas at an early age.

On to the old habits part. I really need to quit drinking coffee. I quit before but I love my coffee. Or at least I need to make an effort to add more calcium into my diet. Osteoporosis runs in my family and I should really make a serious effort to exercise more and eat more calcium rich foods.

I'm getting a new haircut today. Not sure what yet, but I want to try something new and different. I picked up a magazine at Walmart and they have gazillion different short styles in one magazine. I decided not to buy it, otherwise I would probably never be able to pick just one. Whatever I pick, it will be better than the mop I'm sporting right now.

DNC, RNC... Have been watching both, listening to both sides spew venom about the other candidates. I WANT TO HEAR YOUR STAND ON THE ISSUES! Why is that so hard? I get that you have to badmouth the other guy because it's expected. But I'm more interested to hear YOUR stand on the issues that matter to me: the war, the economy, abortion, immigration, energy. Then I can draw my own conclusions about you and the other candidate.

It's a little insulting to hear over and over again the candidates tell me why I shouldn't pick the other guy. I want you to tell me why I should pick YOU over the guy. Americans are smart enough to make their own conclusions (at least I like to think so, but then, we have made some dumb decisions in the past when it comes to presidential elections). Present the facts about your plan and let us draw our own conclusions.

I'm looking forward to the first debate, not only because I want to see the candidates finally answer questions about the issues, but because it's at my beloved Ole Miss campus. But Tim Russert will be missed, I really like watching his show. I wonder who will be the moderator?

Then there is Hanna and Ike, headed somewhere. Will they come close to us, will people evacuate next time, will they stay put? I see all these "forecasters" trying to tell us where the hurricane is going. Please, you can't even tell me with precision whether it's going to rain tomorrow!!

Resurrecting this old blog

It's been a while since I updated this blog. Lots has happened, mostly life so it's been hard to catch up.

We went to Panama in July and had a great time. This was our first, big vacation as a family of 5 so we had our challenges. Overall, it was a great experience. I learned that my kids are better behaved than I thought, and that my husband is more patient and understanding than I give him credit for.

Our family had a chance to spend time with the rest of the family, and that was great. My kids immediately embraced this new group of folks as if they had always known them. They enjoyed everything, the food, the places. We had meltdowns, as would be expected, but I think they were born to travel.

My husband had a chance to see where I grew up, my home, the place where I came to be. He says he liked it (did you, really?). But I wonder if it has made a difference for him to truly know where I came from and all the obstacles I had to overcome, and to meet the people closest to me, even after all these years?

It was great to see my family and spend time with them. I am ready to go back, this time Candace has requested an "only girls" trip. I really hope we can do that next time. It was great to show her where I grew up, and tell her about what my life was like when I was her age.

Came back to MS and to work and then life got hectic again. Trips to the ER because one fell off the couch and later busted his lip. Everyone is fine now.
Work was crazy busy during the month of August, I'm still trying to catch up.

Then school started. We are the parents of a first grader, and I feel like I'm the one in school. There is math homework, phonics homework, reading homework... Not to mention piano lessons, dance lessons, soccer lessons, and soon First Communion classes. My little girl is growing up way too fast, in 2 weeks she will be celebrating her 7th birthday!

Back in June, I took the seminar on the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People and now I'm trying to implement those. Turns out it was harder than I thought but I have discovered there are things I can do on a daily basis that will help me be a better mother and wife, not to mention a better person. Taking the time to think about what I can do every week to make a difference in one of those roles is really having an impact in my life. Still a work in progress though.

Then there is the world around me. Hurricanes and political conventions. We were better prepared for Gustav than we were for Katrina, a good thing considering we have 2 more kids than we did back then.
Political elections bring out the best in some people and the worst in others. I hope it brings out the best in me, although I have to admit I'm not perfect. I get easily annoyed by narrow minded people who believe their way and their beliefs are the only ones that are valid.
No two people are ever going to agree on anything, not even my twin boys who shared the womb.

So it gets very annoying when people share their political views and get highly offended because others don't see it the way they do, or because others don't agree with them.
I find it highly offensive for someone to assume I'm not intelligent enough to formulate my own opinion and expects me to adopt theirs.

I believe what I believe. Simple as that. My viewpoint is not the only one. I see the world the way I do because of my life experiences. I don't expect other people to see the world the same way if they haven't walked in my shoes. And no one has walked in my exact path, and even those who have walked a very similar path, have different views.

I like to debate about politics and religion but have discovered most people don't want to debate, they want to argue. They want to tell me my views are wrong and "convert" me. I really enjoy watching people get all worked up about their political views, and why their way is the best way for America.

I'm an outsider, an immigrant. Growing up, my country was under a socialist regime where healthcare is provided by the government, and education is at the top of the list. I find myself trying to dissect the messages both major political parties give and find the one that closely resembles my ideals. Neither do, there is no party that truly represents me, 100% of my convictions. There couldn't be; simply because I'm just one and the party represents the many.

Liberal, conservative. I'm not sure where I fall. I'm too liberal to be a conservative and too conservative to truly be a liberal. I vote on the ISSUES, not along party lines.

Where in the world...?

I often get asked is "Where is Panama?". When I first moved here, I was actually surprised that my classmates had no clue Panama was actually a country, and not the city in Florida.

It is not an island, and yes, there is a country of Panama, not just the canal. Even though the Canal is what most people know about the country, there is a whole lot more about this tiny piece of land I call home.

It borders Costa Rica and Colombia, and the Pacific and Atlantic oceans. There is actually a place in my province where, on a clear day, you can see both oceans at once. Pretty cool, right?


On this map (from Mapquest), you can see Panama City. On the left side, close to the water, it's my hometown David.

I'm really excited about going home soon. For the first time since I left home (19 years ago) I'm going home as a "tourist". It really is different but I have the chance to rediscover my home, and all it has to offer. I'm so excited to show it to my husband and kids, and even more so, to see if through their eyes.

Of course, there is still lots of packing to do, and the trip is weeks away. But I can hardly wait.

Making a list...

...Not checking twice. At least not yet.

I haven't updated this blog in ages. I really do not have anything too exciting happening on a day to day basis.

Let's see if I can do a quick recap of my "rock star life", shall we?

*Work
*Family time
*House work
*Church
*Trip planning.

Nothing too exciting, as you can see. For the most part anyway.

I'm still ironing out the last details of our trip. Royal pain in the you-know-what. Panama has become quite a tourist attraction, specially Panama City. I've been looking for reasonable hotels in a safe area for weeks now. Would you believe a room at a Country Inn and Suites costs $130 per night in the LOW season? I was quite surprised, to be honest.
I would be lying if I said there weren't cheaper hotels. There are, and some have great reviews from other travelers. The problem is some of them do not have rooms big enough for us. So even though they would be great for a couple, or even a couple and a child, they could not accomodate a family of 5 and all the paraphernalia we have to travel with.
I think I finally narrow it down to 2 B&B, in a nice area and with the room we need.

Then there is the fly vs. rent a car dilemma.

My family lives to the northwest of Panama City, a 6 hr drive, right on the border with Costa Rica. There are flights from Panama City every day but these are small "puddle jumpers", so they have weight restrictions on the luggage. The twins would not pay fare, but would have to ride on our lap (about 1 hr flight). But we would have to pay for their luggage since they don't have a ticket.
Once you add up the airfare for the 3 of us who have to pay, and the extra for the luggage, it's a pretty penny.

So I figured I could find out how much a rental car would be. We have to drive back to Panama City anyway since that's where the international airport is. All the major rental agencies are there (Budget, Avis, Dollar, National, etc), so I figured this should be a piece of cake.
WRONG. More like a pain in the neck.

These agencies do NOT take debit cards, period. Seems like no big deal except we do NOT have credit cards. We got rid of them a long time ago, and since our debit cards work at most places, we don't want one either.

So after contacting agency after agency, and hearing over and over again they do not take cash or debit cards, I came across a locally owned agency who was willing to let me use cash and pay a deposit. I never thought I'd deal with businesses who rather deal with plastic than with good ol' cash. You live, you learn...

So that's two big things that are finally coming together. Now I have to make a list (yes, a list) of people I want to see once I get to my hometown. God forbid I forget anyone, I'm sure my citizenship would be revoked! And a list of other places I want my family to see. That part should be a piece of cake since we have lodging already (courtesy of family and friends); and I'm more familiar with the area.

I guess I should start packing or at least making a list of things to take with us. I hate packing, period. Now you can imagine what I'll be going thru packing for 5 people.

I'll be good and update more now that I'm getting closer to the trip and afterwards. I want to do a travel journal (sort of) with pictures and such once I return.

And the saga continues...

I've been home the last 2 day with a sick child. By sick, I mean by daycare standards. Because his behavior was far from sick.
Sunday, I noticed his left eye was red. Considering the day before he had dumped bubble solution on his head, I figured that was probably the problem. But by Monday morning, his other eye was also red and had some goo in it.

Headed to the doctor, where all 3 of the kids proceeded to take over the waiting room. This included the supposely sick child, who was leaping off chairs, and causing all sort of ruckus.

Dr said it was pink eye and also an ear infection we didn't know about. Thankfully we caught it early. Kept him home yesterday. His eyes were miraculously back to normal yesterday. No discharge, no redness. I think it may have been allergies rather than pink eye.

Anyway, they are back at daycare, oldest child is spending the day with her grandmother, and I'm at work.

Now on to my update on the bank saga. Let me see if I can recap this without my blood pressure going thru the roof.

Talked to the VP at the bank, who proceeded to inform me the charges are indeed legitimate because, well, these merchants had my name (nooooo, really?) and debit card information and therefore the charges were made either by me (no, it was not me) or my husband (who doesn't even know my SS#, much less debit card info).

To make a long story short, I gave him a piece of my mind. Yes, the merchants had my name and debit card because someone stole my IDENTITY. That's the reason I reported it as IDENTITY THEFT. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that if someone steals your identity, they are going to pretend to be you. Maybe it does take a scientist because this is beyond the level of comprehension of the VP at the bank.
Also, his implying that I am indeed responsible for the charges because "I have bought other things online" is insulting to say the least. Yes, I have bought books at Amazon and a pinata for my kids at the Sesame Street store online. BUT I'm NOT disputing those charges. I made those, I did not make the ones I am disputing in my letter.

Besides, why would I go through all this trouble if I was indeed responsible for the charges?

So, I got some of my $ back. I am pissed off and let him know just how pissed I was. I'm opening an account at a credit union, and taking my money out of this stupid bank. Not before I find out the credit union's policy regarding ID theft.

Then again, I may just go back to using cash only.

Public Service announcement

The last story was funny, even if it happened to me.

This one, not so much. Consider this a public service announcement.

Since the end of April, we have been navigating the maze that is identity theft. Yes folks, ID theft. I wish it was as simple as someone stole my wallet, and used my info. It is not. This is one of those cases featured in shows like Twilight zone. At least it feels like I'm on the twilight zone. Some of you have heard most of the story. Now it's the rest of the story.

Since this is a LONG story, I'll give you the gist of it.

• Bank statement arrives in the mail. While checking it, I find out that there are charges there I don't recognize. I asked husband if he made those, he doesn't know where they came from either. Charges are made by Skype.com and EAuction.com, never heard of either nor have procured their services.
• I bank with a local bank in my town, and since I work in Jackson, husband went to the bank to report it (account is in both of our names). Bank person tells him the charges were made using my debit card information so I have to report it in person before they can reverse the charges.
• My debit card was still in my wallet. It was not physically stolen, someone stole the name and numbers off the card, and I still had the card. Bizarre.
• Took time off work to go to the bank and report the incident. I gave the bank person a letter with my signature saying these charges were fraudulent, I did not authorize them, someone has stolen my info. Bank person tells me they will credit the account and investigate. If the investigation shows the charges are legitimate, they will take the credit back. I'm certain the charges are not legitimate because I did not make them. I also had them cancel the debit card to avoid any future charges. I leave the bank in good spirits, thinking their investigation will reveal who stole and use the info.
• In the meantime, I called EAuction (their 800 # was on the bank statement). They tell me I bought some sort of websearch system from them. That was NOT me but they have my name and debit card on their system. They cancel the account and supposely mark it as FRAUD. What they forgot to tell me is yet ANOTHER charge was made to the account just the day before I called them. bastards.
• I tried to find a number for Skype but was not successful. I sent a message thru their website, asking for a phone number where I can properly report the fraud to them. 10 days later, I received an email asking that I send them the debit card number so they can tag the account as fraud. As if I'm going to fall for that one! and no phone number to contact them.
• Letter arrives from the bank telling me their investigation revealed the charges are legitimate. EXCUSE ME??? They have asked the "merchant" and they said it was legitimate so they are taking the credit back. WHAT?? Letter is on plain white paper and not even signed. Considering these people handle MY money, I expect a letter on letterhead and with a signature.
• In case you haven't noticed, by this point, there are flames coming out of my mouth and ears. Not only is the bank's letter less than professional, it offers no insight on the supposed investigation. That's when I decided to do some research on my own. I came across a website (ripoffreport.com) where people from all over the country have similar complaints about these two companies. Apparently, this is not an isolated incident.
• I also went to the MS Attorney General's website and found information as to what to do now. Filed a complaint with the Federal Trade Commission, with the Attorney General, and visited the local police department. They still are not sure how to file the report since this crime is a cybercrime and I have no clue who stole the information. Still talking to police investigators and won't give up until a formal complaint is filed.
• As for the bank, they received a rather lengthy letter from me, retelling the story and asking for copies of all documents generated during the investigation. These are the documents supposely used to arrive to the conclusion the charges were legitimate.

I still have no debit card, because the new one I have applied for hasn't arrived. Still nothing has been resolved by the bank, and these people have gotten my money, to the tune of $150. I hope no one has to go thru this. I thought these things could only happen if you banked online (I don't) or if my wallet was stolen. Apparently thieves these days are experts at stealing your money without you even noticing.

Instructions book missing...

The parenting instruction manuals are missing. You know, the ones that suppose to come with the kids? The ones that tell how to "troubleshoot" when things arise? That one. Mine are missing. None of my kids had one with them. How am I suppose to know what to do when they "malfunction"?

A manual would have come in handy yesterday.

I arrived at daycare to find one of the boys on timeout. Apparently he had decided to climb on a table, and when the teacher asked him to get down, he laughed at her. I know that routine all too well. He has done this before, he is a daredevil. Or may be he thinks he is Superman. I'm of the opinion it's never too early to teach your kids how to behave, so we have been using timeouts and whatever else works for a while. Let's hope it works.

Next stop was school, to pick up my darling daughter. As I walked into the aftercare room, the director tells me she needs to speak with me outside. Oh brother, this can't be good. I quickly try to figure out what could she possibly have to say. Have we paid aftercare? Did we forget to send something she requested? Quickly, I figure out everything should be in order, and with a clueless look on my face, I wait to hear what she has to say.

My sweet child was sent to the Headmaster's office yesterday. Her offense: She decided to moon the entire playground, along with 3 of her friends.

I stood in that hallway wondering if I had heard correctly. Are we talking about the same kid? My sweet, innocent, always polite and well mannered daughter mooned the playground? There has to be some mistake, she is a girl and girls just don't do that!

I picked up my jaw from the floor and thanked the director for letting me know what happened. She asked me not to be too harsh on the child. She thinks having to talk to the Headmaster will make the kids behave from this point forward.

As I drove home, I could not wrap my brain around the incident. What could she possibly be thinking? What am I suppose to do now? Had it been someone else's kid, I would have laughed histerically and wish them luck. Laughter isn't exactly the reaction I am experiencing. Did I fail her as a parent? Have I not taught her what she needs to know about modesty and good manners?

We arrived home, where I proceeded to notify her father of the events of the day. He is also flabbergasted.

I told the child we would talk after the twins were in the bed, mainly because I need to make a few phone calls and find out HOW to handle this incident. My manual is missing, and I'm not sure what to do!

Apparently my mom found her manual after we were all grown because what she suggested didn't sound anything like what she did when were kids. She said I should ask the kid why she did it and not be too harsh. Who is this woman and where is my mother? My mother would have punish me first and ask questions later, simply because no matter what our reason was, the end result was the same.

I told my mother (or the alien who had invaded her body for a few minutes) Thanks and went to my daughter's room to find out the details. I need to know what happened, hopefully the story will give me ideas on what to do next.

Apparently, the boy in the group asked the girls to dare him to use the bathroom in the playground. They did. As he was using it, they decided to stand with him in solidarity and pull their pants down. Not to relieve themselves, just to show their support I guess.

I know you are laughing. I would be too if it wasn't my kid.

I told her why her behavior was wrong, and why I will not tolerate any more of it. I don't want to hear again that she has visited the Headmaster's office, unless she is being given an award. There will also be punishment and extra chores for her to do around the house.

Let's hope the punishment and my speech will teach her a lesson, and we don't have to worry about this ever again.

I'm still looking for the manual that should have come with her, and definitely need the one that should have come with the twins. God knows I'm going to need all the help I can get.

So if you have a manual, do you care to share it with me?

My family

Memories

Isn't it funny how some smells, sounds, commercials, can bring back a bunch of memories?

I received the most current Runner's World issue in the mail yesterday. I'm not sure exactly what triggered the memory, but I flashbacked to a year ago, when I was training for the Chicago Marathon.

I have not ran since Chicago. I didn't think not being able to finish would have such a big impact in my life. After all, it wasn't my fault. I didn't quit, the marathon did. I still believe I would have finished if given the chance.

The months following Chicago were difficult. I had trained so hard, for so long, and didn't get to accomplish the goal I had set for myself. I had sacrificed time away from my kids and my husband to train for this event, and it was all for nothing.

It has been 7 months since then. The wounds have healed. Even though I didn't finish the course, I came closer than I ever thought possible. I know I can run 22 miles. I know how far my body will go if I ask it to. I know I could have gone another 4 miles if allowed. I still call myself a marathoner.

So why haven't I ran in 7 months? Guilt, laziness, take your pick. I feel guilty to take time away from my kids to run. And yes, I rather sit around with the kids than get out in the humid afternoon and run a few miles.

There was something about holding that new issue of RW that sparked that desire to run again. I crave the sound of my feet pounding the pavement, the feeling of freedom, even the sweating. I like coming home after 30 minutes with a new boost of energy and being greeted at the door by my children.

I decided it's time to bring my running shoes back into rotation. My daughter is now old enough to go with me. She may not be able to run as far or as fast as me, but she'll be good company.

My goal is to run the Mississippi Blues Half Marathon on January 3. With my vacation coming up, I want to start running before we leave so I can start training once we return. Hopefully I'll be able to run the entire Chicago Marathon in 2009

Another year has passed

My twin boys are turning 2 today. How fast has time gone by!

This isn't their first birthday, but I've found myself thinking more about the day they were born than I did on thier first.
Maybe it is because the first year was harder, I was physically and mentally exhausted, and that milestone didn't really registered in my tired brain. I don't know.

All I know is 2 years ago today I became "a mother of three" and not just any three, a mother of twins.

The story goes something like this. We wanted a second child, and decided to let nature take its course. We had agreed early on we would not do any fertility treatments if things didn't happen naturally. Instead we would look into adoption.
Two years later, I had begun to research adoption, and that's when I found out we were expecting our number 2.
We told our daughter, who was 4 at the time, that she was going to have a baby brother and sister and her reply was "no, you are having 2 babies".

Little did we know she was right! On my first appointment, I asked the doctor (who is my good friend since our years at Ole Miss) if it was too early to see if there were, indeed, 2 babies in there. There are twins in my family, and well, I had a hunch. Lo and behold, there were 2 in there!

The pregnancy went better than expected. I had to go on bedrest but that's fairly normal for multiples. At exactly 34 wks and 1 day of gestation, the twins were born. One minute apart, 5 lbs and 4.5 lbs, 19 inches long.

To say my life has been changed forever would be an understatement. Anyone who is a parent has had their life changed.

It hasn't been easy, but then again, best things in life aren't always easy. Night feedings, diaper changes, laundry, everything multiplied by 3.

So are the hugs, the kisses, the "I love you", the smiles, the moments that you wish you could capture in film but will stay forever in your heart.

The boys are 2 now and have forged a bond that is hard to describe to parents of singletons. They are each other's "ying yang". They laughed together, cry together, and they say their last words before drifting to sleep to each other.
And they adore their big sister more than I could have ever imagine, and she adores them back.

Making a list, checking it twice...

Who knew going on vacation could be so stressful and fun, all wrapped up in one.

I have so much to do between now and the date we leave. It seems every time I think of something, another thing puts into my mind. I'll give you an example. We are going to fly out of New Orleans (because it's cheaper). Do we want an early flight, or a later flight? Earlier flight would mean we would have to spend the night close to the airport, but we would get to our final destination earlier. It would also mean getting 3 kids up at wee hours of the morning...
The later flight would be nice, except the airports would probably be more crowded, specially when our connecting flight leaves out of Miami.

Decisions, decisions.

I have also been thinking about taking souvenirs for some of our family/friends who will be letting us stay at their house. But I have not been able to come up with something original. I don't want to get anything that they could purchase there (there are a lot of American goods sold in Panama). I want something original, from MS.

Ideas? Please share with me your ideas of souvenirs I could get.

Home Sweet Home

The last time I visited my family in Panama was Christmas of '97. I had graduated college the year before, had a new job, and this was my first trip home as an "adult".

Ten years have passed without visiting home. I guess life got in "the way". I worked full time and started graduate school at night, later on met my husband, got married, had kids. Before I knew it, ten years had passed.

Not a day has gone by I haven't missed my family, my home. It's always there, in the back of mind, reminding me of those I left behind, of where I come from. It's a way of life for those of us who emigrate to another place.

I am finally going home after all this time, and this time I won't be alone. I am taking my husband and three children who have never seen the place of my birth, or the family that helped me become the person I am today.

Lots of planning and preparation that I wouldn't normally worry about: where to stay, should I rent a car or use public transportation, should I stay with family or in a hotel? There is a lot more to worry about when you are responsible for making this trip memorable for those you love.

I want this trip to be perfect, still I know nothing ever is. I want my husband to fall in love with the place of my birth, to meet the family that considers him one of them even though they have never met, to see the places where my childhood memories were made.

I want my kids to meet their family and to feel a part of them. I want them to embrace their heritage, to appreciate the sacrificies of those who came before them, and to feel a part of that country where their mom came to be.

Most of all, I want to go home and find that teenager, full of dreams and hopes, who left her home at 15 without knowing if she would ever come back, or if she would ever reach her dreams.

I want her to see the person she became, and the legacy she will leave on this planet in the lives of her children.