Memories

It's funny how some smells can bring back a flood of memories.

Coffee and gardenias take me back to my childhood. I was fortunate to spend a lot of time with my grandparents. I didn't know then how much I would cherish the memories I made there.

Every morning for more than 60 years, my Grandfather started his mornings the same way. He would grind the coffee beans he had harvested in his backyard, and make coffee. The smell of freshly brewed coffee takes me back to those beautiful mornings. Before he had any coffee, he would bring Abuela a cup of coffee to bed. Every morning for more than 60 years.

He would go on about his morning routine, feed the chickens, and start his day; while Abuela made breakfast. She would let me help her and made me feel so special. She put so much love into cooking, maybe that's why her food was always so good. That's where I get my love for cooking.

After breakfast, Abuela and I would go out and water her plants. She has a beautiful garden, even now. She would tell me all about all her plants, where she got them from, how long she's had them, when they bloom. I loved the smell of the gardenias and even now, they remind me of Abuela.

It's funny how as we get older, some memories come back more often. For me, the happy memories of my times in el Cope, with my grandparents, are one of my most treasured times.

Nochebuena

Tomorrow is Nochebuena, Christmas Eve. Wow. This month flew by and Christmas was here before I knew it.

Nochebuena was probably my favorite day of the whole season when I was a kid. The anticipation, the excitement, the food. It was almost as if the air smelled like Christmas. I miss that. I wish I could take my family back to Panama for Christmas, so they could see how I celebrated growing up. One day soon...

I miss my home this time of the year, every year since I moved here. I miss the sound of villancicos (carols), the smell of the food being prepared, the festive atmosphere that just cannot be replicated, no matter how much I try.

This year, I will try to replicate a tiny bit of my Navidad in my home, for my children to experience: in the food, the christmas carols, the anticipation. Maybe one year soon, they'll get to experience an authentic Panamanian Christmas

Where in the world...?

I often get asked is "Where is Panama?". When I first moved here, I was actually surprised that my classmates had no clue Panama was actually a country, and not the city in Florida.

It is not an island, and yes, there is a country of Panama, not just the canal. Even though the Canal is what most people know about the country, there is a whole lot more about this tiny piece of land I call home.

It borders Costa Rica and Colombia, and the Pacific and Atlantic oceans. There is actually a place in my province where, on a clear day, you can see both oceans at once. Pretty cool, right?


On this map (from Mapquest), you can see Panama City. On the left side, close to the water, it's my hometown David.

I'm really excited about going home soon. For the first time since I left home (19 years ago) I'm going home as a "tourist". It really is different but I have the chance to rediscover my home, and all it has to offer. I'm so excited to show it to my husband and kids, and even more so, to see if through their eyes.

Of course, there is still lots of packing to do, and the trip is weeks away. But I can hardly wait.

Making a list...

...Not checking twice. At least not yet.

I haven't updated this blog in ages. I really do not have anything too exciting happening on a day to day basis.

Let's see if I can do a quick recap of my "rock star life", shall we?

*Work
*Family time
*House work
*Church
*Trip planning.

Nothing too exciting, as you can see. For the most part anyway.

I'm still ironing out the last details of our trip. Royal pain in the you-know-what. Panama has become quite a tourist attraction, specially Panama City. I've been looking for reasonable hotels in a safe area for weeks now. Would you believe a room at a Country Inn and Suites costs $130 per night in the LOW season? I was quite surprised, to be honest.
I would be lying if I said there weren't cheaper hotels. There are, and some have great reviews from other travelers. The problem is some of them do not have rooms big enough for us. So even though they would be great for a couple, or even a couple and a child, they could not accomodate a family of 5 and all the paraphernalia we have to travel with.
I think I finally narrow it down to 2 B&B, in a nice area and with the room we need.

Then there is the fly vs. rent a car dilemma.

My family lives to the northwest of Panama City, a 6 hr drive, right on the border with Costa Rica. There are flights from Panama City every day but these are small "puddle jumpers", so they have weight restrictions on the luggage. The twins would not pay fare, but would have to ride on our lap (about 1 hr flight). But we would have to pay for their luggage since they don't have a ticket.
Once you add up the airfare for the 3 of us who have to pay, and the extra for the luggage, it's a pretty penny.

So I figured I could find out how much a rental car would be. We have to drive back to Panama City anyway since that's where the international airport is. All the major rental agencies are there (Budget, Avis, Dollar, National, etc), so I figured this should be a piece of cake.
WRONG. More like a pain in the neck.

These agencies do NOT take debit cards, period. Seems like no big deal except we do NOT have credit cards. We got rid of them a long time ago, and since our debit cards work at most places, we don't want one either.

So after contacting agency after agency, and hearing over and over again they do not take cash or debit cards, I came across a locally owned agency who was willing to let me use cash and pay a deposit. I never thought I'd deal with businesses who rather deal with plastic than with good ol' cash. You live, you learn...

So that's two big things that are finally coming together. Now I have to make a list (yes, a list) of people I want to see once I get to my hometown. God forbid I forget anyone, I'm sure my citizenship would be revoked! And a list of other places I want my family to see. That part should be a piece of cake since we have lodging already (courtesy of family and friends); and I'm more familiar with the area.

I guess I should start packing or at least making a list of things to take with us. I hate packing, period. Now you can imagine what I'll be going thru packing for 5 people.

I'll be good and update more now that I'm getting closer to the trip and afterwards. I want to do a travel journal (sort of) with pictures and such once I return.

Home Sweet Home

The last time I visited my family in Panama was Christmas of '97. I had graduated college the year before, had a new job, and this was my first trip home as an "adult".

Ten years have passed without visiting home. I guess life got in "the way". I worked full time and started graduate school at night, later on met my husband, got married, had kids. Before I knew it, ten years had passed.

Not a day has gone by I haven't missed my family, my home. It's always there, in the back of mind, reminding me of those I left behind, of where I come from. It's a way of life for those of us who emigrate to another place.

I am finally going home after all this time, and this time I won't be alone. I am taking my husband and three children who have never seen the place of my birth, or the family that helped me become the person I am today.

Lots of planning and preparation that I wouldn't normally worry about: where to stay, should I rent a car or use public transportation, should I stay with family or in a hotel? There is a lot more to worry about when you are responsible for making this trip memorable for those you love.

I want this trip to be perfect, still I know nothing ever is. I want my husband to fall in love with the place of my birth, to meet the family that considers him one of them even though they have never met, to see the places where my childhood memories were made.

I want my kids to meet their family and to feel a part of them. I want them to embrace their heritage, to appreciate the sacrificies of those who came before them, and to feel a part of that country where their mom came to be.

Most of all, I want to go home and find that teenager, full of dreams and hopes, who left her home at 15 without knowing if she would ever come back, or if she would ever reach her dreams.

I want her to see the person she became, and the legacy she will leave on this planet in the lives of her children.