Instructions book missing...

The parenting instruction manuals are missing. You know, the ones that suppose to come with the kids? The ones that tell how to "troubleshoot" when things arise? That one. Mine are missing. None of my kids had one with them. How am I suppose to know what to do when they "malfunction"?

A manual would have come in handy yesterday.

I arrived at daycare to find one of the boys on timeout. Apparently he had decided to climb on a table, and when the teacher asked him to get down, he laughed at her. I know that routine all too well. He has done this before, he is a daredevil. Or may be he thinks he is Superman. I'm of the opinion it's never too early to teach your kids how to behave, so we have been using timeouts and whatever else works for a while. Let's hope it works.

Next stop was school, to pick up my darling daughter. As I walked into the aftercare room, the director tells me she needs to speak with me outside. Oh brother, this can't be good. I quickly try to figure out what could she possibly have to say. Have we paid aftercare? Did we forget to send something she requested? Quickly, I figure out everything should be in order, and with a clueless look on my face, I wait to hear what she has to say.

My sweet child was sent to the Headmaster's office yesterday. Her offense: She decided to moon the entire playground, along with 3 of her friends.

I stood in that hallway wondering if I had heard correctly. Are we talking about the same kid? My sweet, innocent, always polite and well mannered daughter mooned the playground? There has to be some mistake, she is a girl and girls just don't do that!

I picked up my jaw from the floor and thanked the director for letting me know what happened. She asked me not to be too harsh on the child. She thinks having to talk to the Headmaster will make the kids behave from this point forward.

As I drove home, I could not wrap my brain around the incident. What could she possibly be thinking? What am I suppose to do now? Had it been someone else's kid, I would have laughed histerically and wish them luck. Laughter isn't exactly the reaction I am experiencing. Did I fail her as a parent? Have I not taught her what she needs to know about modesty and good manners?

We arrived home, where I proceeded to notify her father of the events of the day. He is also flabbergasted.

I told the child we would talk after the twins were in the bed, mainly because I need to make a few phone calls and find out HOW to handle this incident. My manual is missing, and I'm not sure what to do!

Apparently my mom found her manual after we were all grown because what she suggested didn't sound anything like what she did when were kids. She said I should ask the kid why she did it and not be too harsh. Who is this woman and where is my mother? My mother would have punish me first and ask questions later, simply because no matter what our reason was, the end result was the same.

I told my mother (or the alien who had invaded her body for a few minutes) Thanks and went to my daughter's room to find out the details. I need to know what happened, hopefully the story will give me ideas on what to do next.

Apparently, the boy in the group asked the girls to dare him to use the bathroom in the playground. They did. As he was using it, they decided to stand with him in solidarity and pull their pants down. Not to relieve themselves, just to show their support I guess.

I know you are laughing. I would be too if it wasn't my kid.

I told her why her behavior was wrong, and why I will not tolerate any more of it. I don't want to hear again that she has visited the Headmaster's office, unless she is being given an award. There will also be punishment and extra chores for her to do around the house.

Let's hope the punishment and my speech will teach her a lesson, and we don't have to worry about this ever again.

I'm still looking for the manual that should have come with her, and definitely need the one that should have come with the twins. God knows I'm going to need all the help I can get.

So if you have a manual, do you care to share it with me?

My family

Memories

Isn't it funny how some smells, sounds, commercials, can bring back a bunch of memories?

I received the most current Runner's World issue in the mail yesterday. I'm not sure exactly what triggered the memory, but I flashbacked to a year ago, when I was training for the Chicago Marathon.

I have not ran since Chicago. I didn't think not being able to finish would have such a big impact in my life. After all, it wasn't my fault. I didn't quit, the marathon did. I still believe I would have finished if given the chance.

The months following Chicago were difficult. I had trained so hard, for so long, and didn't get to accomplish the goal I had set for myself. I had sacrificed time away from my kids and my husband to train for this event, and it was all for nothing.

It has been 7 months since then. The wounds have healed. Even though I didn't finish the course, I came closer than I ever thought possible. I know I can run 22 miles. I know how far my body will go if I ask it to. I know I could have gone another 4 miles if allowed. I still call myself a marathoner.

So why haven't I ran in 7 months? Guilt, laziness, take your pick. I feel guilty to take time away from my kids to run. And yes, I rather sit around with the kids than get out in the humid afternoon and run a few miles.

There was something about holding that new issue of RW that sparked that desire to run again. I crave the sound of my feet pounding the pavement, the feeling of freedom, even the sweating. I like coming home after 30 minutes with a new boost of energy and being greeted at the door by my children.

I decided it's time to bring my running shoes back into rotation. My daughter is now old enough to go with me. She may not be able to run as far or as fast as me, but she'll be good company.

My goal is to run the Mississippi Blues Half Marathon on January 3. With my vacation coming up, I want to start running before we leave so I can start training once we return. Hopefully I'll be able to run the entire Chicago Marathon in 2009

Another year has passed

My twin boys are turning 2 today. How fast has time gone by!

This isn't their first birthday, but I've found myself thinking more about the day they were born than I did on thier first.
Maybe it is because the first year was harder, I was physically and mentally exhausted, and that milestone didn't really registered in my tired brain. I don't know.

All I know is 2 years ago today I became "a mother of three" and not just any three, a mother of twins.

The story goes something like this. We wanted a second child, and decided to let nature take its course. We had agreed early on we would not do any fertility treatments if things didn't happen naturally. Instead we would look into adoption.
Two years later, I had begun to research adoption, and that's when I found out we were expecting our number 2.
We told our daughter, who was 4 at the time, that she was going to have a baby brother and sister and her reply was "no, you are having 2 babies".

Little did we know she was right! On my first appointment, I asked the doctor (who is my good friend since our years at Ole Miss) if it was too early to see if there were, indeed, 2 babies in there. There are twins in my family, and well, I had a hunch. Lo and behold, there were 2 in there!

The pregnancy went better than expected. I had to go on bedrest but that's fairly normal for multiples. At exactly 34 wks and 1 day of gestation, the twins were born. One minute apart, 5 lbs and 4.5 lbs, 19 inches long.

To say my life has been changed forever would be an understatement. Anyone who is a parent has had their life changed.

It hasn't been easy, but then again, best things in life aren't always easy. Night feedings, diaper changes, laundry, everything multiplied by 3.

So are the hugs, the kisses, the "I love you", the smiles, the moments that you wish you could capture in film but will stay forever in your heart.

The boys are 2 now and have forged a bond that is hard to describe to parents of singletons. They are each other's "ying yang". They laughed together, cry together, and they say their last words before drifting to sleep to each other.
And they adore their big sister more than I could have ever imagine, and she adores them back.

Making a list, checking it twice...

Who knew going on vacation could be so stressful and fun, all wrapped up in one.

I have so much to do between now and the date we leave. It seems every time I think of something, another thing puts into my mind. I'll give you an example. We are going to fly out of New Orleans (because it's cheaper). Do we want an early flight, or a later flight? Earlier flight would mean we would have to spend the night close to the airport, but we would get to our final destination earlier. It would also mean getting 3 kids up at wee hours of the morning...
The later flight would be nice, except the airports would probably be more crowded, specially when our connecting flight leaves out of Miami.

Decisions, decisions.

I have also been thinking about taking souvenirs for some of our family/friends who will be letting us stay at their house. But I have not been able to come up with something original. I don't want to get anything that they could purchase there (there are a lot of American goods sold in Panama). I want something original, from MS.

Ideas? Please share with me your ideas of souvenirs I could get.

Home Sweet Home

The last time I visited my family in Panama was Christmas of '97. I had graduated college the year before, had a new job, and this was my first trip home as an "adult".

Ten years have passed without visiting home. I guess life got in "the way". I worked full time and started graduate school at night, later on met my husband, got married, had kids. Before I knew it, ten years had passed.

Not a day has gone by I haven't missed my family, my home. It's always there, in the back of mind, reminding me of those I left behind, of where I come from. It's a way of life for those of us who emigrate to another place.

I am finally going home after all this time, and this time I won't be alone. I am taking my husband and three children who have never seen the place of my birth, or the family that helped me become the person I am today.

Lots of planning and preparation that I wouldn't normally worry about: where to stay, should I rent a car or use public transportation, should I stay with family or in a hotel? There is a lot more to worry about when you are responsible for making this trip memorable for those you love.

I want this trip to be perfect, still I know nothing ever is. I want my husband to fall in love with the place of my birth, to meet the family that considers him one of them even though they have never met, to see the places where my childhood memories were made.

I want my kids to meet their family and to feel a part of them. I want them to embrace their heritage, to appreciate the sacrificies of those who came before them, and to feel a part of that country where their mom came to be.

Most of all, I want to go home and find that teenager, full of dreams and hopes, who left her home at 15 without knowing if she would ever come back, or if she would ever reach her dreams.

I want her to see the person she became, and the legacy she will leave on this planet in the lives of her children.

If you had 6 months...

to live, what would you do?

I know, that's not exactly something any of us wants to think about, just bear with me. There is a method to my madness and what I'm going to share in this blog may change the way you answer that question.

Just about a week ago, I settled down to watch TV before going to bed. I was not really sure what was on that particular night. As a matter in fact, I couldn't even tell what night it was.

I settled on Primetime on ABC. I like Diane Sawyer and I figured I could pseudo-watch as I worked on the crossword puzzle for that day. Little did I know...

That particular night, Diane was talking to Randy Pausch, a professor at Carnegie Mellon. If you didn't watch that show, you are probably wondering who he is and why am I blogging about his interview with Diane.

The story is simple. Randy is a computer science professor, 47 yr old, handsome, married, father of 3 kids, and has pancreatic cancer.

He gave a lecture based on a question about what he would do if he knew he was going to die and wanted to sum up everything that was important to him. The lecture was taped, later made it to the internet, millions saw it, and voila, he was famous.

I watched his interview with Diane and was immediately taken by this man. He is funny, and so positive, even though he knows his disease is winning. You can read the interview and watch a video here http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/story?id=4614281&page=1 I should warn you, you may cry.

I cried watching this man enjoy every minute of his life, and then realizing how many times I've taken for granted the moments I've been given to be with those I love.


As I watched him talk about his kids and the things he wants his children to know about him once he is gone, I wondered, what would I want my kids to know about me, about my dreams, about the things I wanted to do before I left his earth? What bits of wisdom would I want them to carry with them thru life? How could I make sure I was with them in spirit through the difficult times ahead?

Always "evolving" list

this list started as a "50 things about me" project. Free time is a luxury these days and this is as far as I've gotten on my list.

1. I was born on January 22 and my parents’ anniversary was on Jan 21. My mother tried to convince her doctor to change my birthdate to the 21st, so that I could be their “anniversary present”. Thankfully, the doctor said no.

2. My oldest memory is my 3rd birthday party. I had a huge bunny pinata, and I was mad because I didn’t want anyone to hit it. It was MINE after all! Needless to say, I still get teased about it.

3. I hate being late, and most of my family is “in time” rather than “on time”. Growing up, I fought with my sisters every morning because we were always late for school because of them. To this day, when I plan things at my house, I tell them it’s scheduled for 1 hour earlier than it really is. That way they can always be on time.

4. I have an irrational fear of the ocean. Can’t explain it, I just get very anxious when I’m near it. No cruises for me!

5. I had my first job when I was 13, wrapping presents during Christmas at a store back home. December in Panama = HOT. The area where I worked was outside so I spent the entire month wrapping presents for $5.60 per day. Yes, per day, it was minimum wage. I thought I was rich.

6. I chose my career early my senior year in high school. Never hesitated. My junior year in college, I was feeling burnt out so I went to the career counselor. Took the test, and the counselor told me I had chosen the one that matched me the most. The only other option would have been chemistry. It figures.

7. I absolutely loved school. I looked forward to going to school and learning new things. Yes, I know, I’m a geek. I’d love to go back and get another degree on something completely opposite of what I do now, like English literature, or History.

8. I want to be a lawyer one day when I grow up, probably environmental law. That way I could use all my degrees.

9. I was in Panama during the American invasion (Dec 89). Years later while in college, I met Robb, who had been in the army, and had been deployed to Panama for the invasion. The stories he told me about it plus my memories of it paint a very different picture from what was reported here about it.

10. When I was 15, my family moved to Costa Rica because of the political turnmoil. We were considered “political refugees” while we were living there.

11. A year later, my family was homeless. We had lost our home in Panama, and didn’t have a home in Costa Rica anymore. We met an Episcopalian priest and his family, and they gave us a place to live in a small apartment adjacent to one of their chapels. I learned then God is always looking out for you, and help will come from places you wouldn’t expect it.

12. The day I arrived in New Orleans, everything Glenda and I owned fit inside one medium size suitcase. Many years later, the same size suitcase isn’t big enough for one week worth of clothes. I’m truly blessed.

13. When I was seven, I wanted to be an astronaut.

14. My first car was a ’79 Montecarlo. It was a great car, and I proudly parked it for 4 years alongside BMW, Mercedes, Acuras that were prevalent at my college campus.

15. I worked 2 jobs the summer before I entered college so I could save enough to take with me. I had $700 to my name the day I arrived at Ole Miss. I had no clue how I was going to make it, but I knew I was not leaving campus without a degree.

16. I was a resident advisor in college, to help pay for my food and other college expenses. I worked in a freshman dorm, and the other RAs became my friends and to this day, we still keep in touch.

17. I have very few close friends, but once someone enters that category, they will be my friends for life.

18. I have not spoken to my father in 10 years. I love him and understand his silence to an extent. Forgiveness isn’t easy but I have my kids to thank for teaching me to forgive my father’s shortcomings.

19. I have 3 other siblings from my father’s first marriage. A brother who is a policeman, a sister who is a SAHM of five kids, and a late sister, who died before I could meet her. I have a bunch of nephews, and some of them are old enough to have kids too so I’m a great aunt!

20. I didn’t know I had other siblings until I was 15. I had a dream I had a brother and mentioned it to my mother. That’s when she told me. My brother and living sister say I look a lot like my late sister. Even her sons were taken aback when they saw me for the first time.

21. If I could talk to one person who has passed, it would have to be the first one of my ancestors who came from Spain. I'd like to know why he/she made the trip.

22. When I was growing up, I was part of a dance company that performed traditional Panamanian dances. I enjoyed it very much, and often wish there was a regional group nearby so I could still participate.

23. At the age of 10, I participated in a public speaking competition. All the kids from 4th-6th grade were allowed to enter. My dad and I wrote the speech, and I still remember the first line from it "El respeto al derecho ajeno es la paz"-Benito Juarez (Peace is respecting someone else's rights). I won that competition.

24. I played basketball and softball in junior high, and played in an intermural basketball team in college.

25. I do not know how to swim.

About me

Got this interview from Sandi Beason at Mississippi Moms.

1: What is your favorite childhood memory?
Summers spent at my grandparents' house. My cousins and I would sit outside, under the stars, and tell stories.

2: Describe your personality?
Quiet, reserved, fiercily loyal.

3: What is your most embarrassing moment?
Nothing comes to mind at the moment. I guess I have blocked them out of my mind.

4: if you could travel anywhere in the world, where would it be and why?
Spain, so I can trace back my ancestors

5: If you could change jobs, what would you do?
I would be a teacher.

Now it's your turn. If you want to be interviewed, leave me a comment including the words "Interview me." I will respond by e-mailing you five questions. I get to pick the questions.

New month, new office

Time to start over. Hopefully I will do a better job at keeping this blog updated.

I have moved into our new office. If you drive on Amite Street, our building is in the first intersection, corner of Amite and President. They are still working on the outside, and once it's finished, it's going to look great. I'm adjusting to this change, but overall it has been great.

I've decided that rather than blogging about nothing, I will blog about things that have been on my mind. First up, fertility.

I was listening to Dave Ramsey on the way back from the field the other day. A woman had called to get his opinion about borrowing $20K to undergo fertility treatments. I didn't get to hear his advice on the subject, but it got me thinking. Would I be willing to spend that much money and undergo all that treatment to bring a kid into this world? Would you?

I always thought if I couldn't have kids the old fashioned way, I would adopt. So many children out there who need loving parents, why not be that parent?

The thing that struck me was this woman said "I need to have a baby". I never felt I "needed" to have a kid. I wanted children, but I didn't need them as one needs a drink of water, or new clothes, or a car. I wanted them.

Perhaps she was emotional and chose the wrong word, I don't know. I kept wondering if she "needed" this baby as one needs a new purse, as a possession and not as the amazing gift a new life represents.

I'm not doing a very good job with this blog lately. I don't have internet at home (I'm back in the dark ages), and work is insane these days. I know, excuses.

Valentine's day is coming. I wonder, do most people celebrate V-day? We really don't, it's just a Hallmark holiday for us. We are more of the "everyday is special" type people. We'll get a card for no reason at all, send I love you messages on the phone, etc.

Now that we have Candace, Valentine's day is more about her. Claude will get her a little gift and a card, so she'll have a special valentine from her dad. That means more to me than a box of chocolates.

I guess the same is true for birthdays, since I didn't even buy a cake for mine. ha. I guess I could always bake one of my favorites, Tres Leches Cake. It's a Latin recipe, you mix 3 different types of milk, and let the cake soak up all the liquid. sooo good.

The boys are growing and talking more. Their favorite word is NO. At least that one comes in handy now that I want to potty train them.
They are funny creatures, those two. They are definitely good friends, they hardly ever fight, and they enjoy each other's company. If one is crying, the other one will start talking to him, in their own jibberish language, as if trying to find out what is wrong. Too cute. I guess that's a bond those of us who are not twins cannot understand.

I cannot believe these 3 kids are mine. Watching Candace become a kid and no longer a baby it's a humbling experience. This amazing little girl grew up inside of me, and I brought her into this world.

And the mere fact I carried those 2 boys inside of me at the same time and for 34 wks continues to blow my mind.

God has blessed me in more ways than I deserve.

My 2009 marathon

Well, it’s not that kind of marathon. Although I went to the kickoff meeting for Marathon Makeover, I didn’t sign up for training this year. I was tempted but the next time I do it, I want to do give it all and that requires time I don’t have right now. I want to be one of the fast people and run with Mandy, Cindy, Carey, and Kim.

Instead of training for Chicago, this year I’m preparing for my own kind of marathon. My first trip to Panama in 10 years.

10 years. I can’t believe I have not been home in 10 years. Last time, my mom and I went together. We spent Christmas there. I have to admit, it was a stressful trip. Flight had a connection in Miami and the flight from there to Panama was overbooked so mom and I spent the night at the airport.
I rented a car while I was there (so I could take my grandparents on day trips) and someone stole a headlight from the car. It wouldn’t be a big deal, except the rental car agency (a local one) tried to charge me $200 for a headlight. Now, this was a Nissan and these cars are very popular in Panama, so they could easily find one at a reasonable price. I ended up getting pretty mad and having them call a manager because I knew they were trying to overcharge me for the light. I was ready to come back by the time the trip was over.

Aside from the normal travel inconveniences, it was a good trip. This was the last time I saw my cousin Jose. He died in August of 2000, he was just 33. It won’t be the same to go home and not see him. And Abuelo is no longer there. Some of you remember, he died in Feb 07, while I was training for Chicago. He won’t be there either.

I’m still excited to go home. Claude has never been out of the country, so this is my chance to show him where I came from. I get to share this part of me with him, and that means the world. I also get to share it with Candace, who has seen pictures and heard stories about this “familia” she has back home. I finally get to share this wonderful girl who calls me Mami with the rest of my family. And even though the twins are young and probably won’t remember this trip, I’m happy they’ll get to meet their family.

Traveling home takes a lot of planning, even when it’s just one person going. Imagine how much more work it is to travel with 3 kids! There is passports to get, bags to pack, where will we stay, do we need a rental car, itinerary to plan, etc.

But I’m excited. I think this will bring Candace and I closer together. She will have a rare opportunity to see how blessed she is. My family back home is not wealthy. They have very little when it comes to material possessions. I want her to see how lucky she is to have her own room, her own TV, her own toys. I had none of that growing up. I want her to appreciate how hard Claude and I work to provide a nice living for her and her brothers. I think at her age, she’ll be able to grasp and understand this.

I also think this glimpse into my past will help Claude understand better who I am. It is not that he doesn’t know me, but one thing is to hear someone tell about their life, and another to see exactly where they came from.

So I will be blogging more about travel plans as the months go by. I’d like to go sometime between mid May and mid July but we haven’t picked the exact days yet.

Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy

Had a birthday on Tuesday. 34 years old. Growing up, I always thought 30 would be the official “I’m getting old” milestone. I think Abuelo was right, age is really not important, it’s how old we feel. Most days I still feel 23!

Birthdays were a big deal in my family growing up. We had parties, and by that I mean more than just cake and ice cream. I remember inviting the neighbors, adults and kids, and having music, food, cake, lots of dancing. The first time I went to a birthday party here I was quite disappointed, no music, no adults. Quite an adjustment. We still try to keep the tradition alive, it’s not a party unless there is dancing. So when we get together to celebrate, there has to be dancing and lots of food.
But since my birthday was during the week, I didn’t have a party. I told the kids I’d get a cake this weekend so they could have some cake. My husband gave me a pretty ring with 3 hearts on it, one for each of the kids.

I need to take the kids to get passport pictures so we can send their applications. I need to get those in quickly before people start planning their summer vacations. Otherwise, they’ll get backed up like they did last year.

I haven’t been blogging much because I really don’t have much to say. I’m going to be at the MM meeting Saturday morning with my brother in law, who wants to do MM this year. I really hope he decides to do it. As much as I miss everyone, I have other plans for this year and I don’t want to sign up unless I can properly train for it. So 2009 it is.

Forever learning

I am still working on getting my office ready for the move. What a task!

In all honesty, it has given me a chance to declutter my office and get rid of things I no longer need. Before I moved to this division, my area of expertise was air pollution control. I spent 10 yrs learning about regulations, and prevention. 10 years. That pretty much encompasses my entire career.

Making the decision to move to a new division was not easy because I knew I would have to start over. This division deals with the cleanup of contaminated sites, and that means soil and groundwater, not air. So I'm learning a new trade. Although I like it here, it has been hard to adjust. I went from being one of the "experts" to being the new kid. It has been an experience.

But change can be good and I'm enjoying this new area. I still miss doing what I liked best but life moves on, and in this field, experience in all aspects of the environment is a must. So I made the right decision by switching divisions.

I decided to get a new certification. This certification requires both a written and an oral test; and 10 yrs of experience in one area of environmental engineering. If I pass, I will get to add some extra letters to my name when I write letters (BCEE), in addition to the PE (Professional Engineer). I also get a 5% raise. That's 5% of my current salary. A very good raise, considering raises in state government are far and few in between. It also means I have to study hard for these tests so I can pass and get my raise.

BCEE stands for Board Certified Environmental Engineer. It is an accreditation offered by the American Academy of Environmental Engineers, and it basically means that if you have it, you are an "expert" in a particular area of environmental engineering.

Why can't I get away from studying? I guess I'm just an eternal student.

Broken Resolutions

One of my new year resolutions was to curse less. A lot less. Well, I’m here to admit I have broken that one already and by a long shot.

Our agency is moving to 2 different buildings. Currently, the agency is housed in 2 separate buildings, one in South Jackson, and one downtown, across from the Federal Building. This time, both buildings are downtown, and from what I hear, much nicer too.

Those of us who were lucky enough to be in the downtown building had very nice offices. At least mine was. Corner office, 3 large windows, plenty of room for the pictures of the kids, diplomas, etc. That is ending soon, way too soon. As of next month, we will no longer have offices, we’ll have work stations.

Unless you are a manager, you will not have a real office. You will have a workstation (we have been instructed NOT to call them cubicles).

Did I mention I hate packing and moving? Yes, I have a phobia of sorts when it comes to moving. You could say it stems from moving a lot when I was growing up. All I know is I hate packing/unpacking, even if it’s just for a short trip. I’m one of those “last minute packers”, not because I’m a procrastinator, but because I dread the thought of packing.

I have issues. Not only do I have to pack my nice office, I’m having to downsize quite a bit. My diploma, the pictures of my kids, my plant, they are all going home because plants are not allowed in the new building, we can’t hang stuff from the walls of our cubiCELLs, and the work space is so small we won't have room for pictures.

And the move is bringing up other issues, among them, the fact I was passed over for a promotion to management last year. Someone less qualified was given the job, even though I was doing technically doing the work while they hired a replacement. Do I have to tell you why he was hired? Let’s just say he had something I didn’t, and it had nothing to do with qualifications. Enough said.

Throw all that in the mix and you have a very cranky me. Woe is me.

It’s not to say I have issues with change. I don’t think I do. God knows I have had to adapt to different situations many times in my life. I think my issues with this move have less to do with the physical part of it, and more to do with the fact some other person is getting a nice office, and he doesn’t deserve it.

Yet I have to continue to smile, and be nice to this person, because maybe, one day in the future, he will be in upper management and I don’t want to have enemies in upper management. I’m not very good at being a hypocrite.

One good thing about this move, it is giving me a chance to reevaluate my career. Am I in the place I wanted to be 10 yrs ago? Am I headed in the right direction? I’m not sure. I’m staying here for now, putting my name in as many leadership “hats” as possible, and waiting. There is always law school, specially now that MC is offering a 5 yr program for people who work full time. We’ll see. At least there are other options out there.

In the meantime, I will continue to pack, and dread the move. And yes, probably continue to curse while I’m doing it.

Friendships and Parenting

“Parents of young children should realize that few people, and maybe no one, will find their childrent as enchanting as they do" - Barbara Walters.

Isn't that the truth? I love my kids but I also know everyone isn't going to love them as I do. The truth is, I'm not a "kids' person". I never was the person others asked to babysit, I didn't like to play with kids, I can honestly tell you I didn't like kids. Maybe I still don't?

I love my kids, and I also like them. They are funny, and charming, and I enjoy having them around. But I also know they can be disruptive, and they still have a lot to learn when it comes to good manners. And it's up to me to teach them how to be polite and likeable people.

This weekend Candace was invited to the movies by her friend V and her parents. V's parents have been our friends for years, long before Claude and I even met. So we are glad that our daughters are friends, for the most part. Candace came home upset after her outing. They had invited another school friend too, and apparently V alienated Candace during the outing to be with the other kid. It hurt my kid's feelings. I don't have to tell you I wasn't too happy about it, but what could I do?
Then, as she was getting ready for bed, Claude saw that she had holes in her pants, and asked her what happened. She said V had pushed her down and she fell. WHAT? Needless to say, I was beyond mad.
I had to compose myself and explain to Candace why I was mad about the incident. It is not OK to treat friends that way and she should not allow her friend V to be mean to her. I'm not sure if I got the message across, how do you teach a 6 yr old what's acceptable in a friendship?

This isn't the first time V has done this. As a matter in fact, she hit Candace in the face once before, at our house and in front of me. I immediately stepped in and told her that behavior was not acceptable because we are not to treat friends that way. She was not pleased, as a matter in fact she rolled her eyes at me. I did tell her parents about the incident and how I handled it. They were less than pleased.

Was I out of line?

Growing up, every time we left the house our parents reminded us about the rules and how they applied anywhere we were. We knew if we misbehaved at someone's house, we were in even bigger trouble than if it had happened at home. We were a direct reflection of our parents and as such, we were expected to be polite, and well behaved at all times.

I wonder sometimes if I'm a misfit because I'm culturally different from other parents. Other times I think culture has nothing to do with it. V's parents are Hispanic too, just like me. We speak the same "culture", so why do we have such different parenting ideas?

When they dropped Candace off that night, they came in the house to visit. They also have a 3 yr old son, whom they admit behaves pretty badly. I blame the parents, not the child, for his behavior. The boy took some of twin's toys and started to play. Braden, being his social self, went up to the boy and wanted to play with him. The boy PUSHED him! His parents were sitting right in front, and did nothing! I was beyond mad, and told Braden to go and defend himself. As if that wasn't enough, he then proceeded to throw a toy at my child.

I'm sure you are wondering what the parents did. The mother told him "honey, please don't do that, please", in the sweetest tone and that was it. Had it been my kid, I would have taken the toys away, told him to stop being a brat and put him on time out right then, after giving him a good pat on his butt.

I know times have changed. These days spanking is no longer practiced, and we are all zen about raising kids. I agree that children deserve respect as any other person, and should be talked to rather than talked down to. BUT at some point, we have to be the parents and provide guidance for those kids.

I don't spank my kids often, and when I do, it's a pat on the butt to get their attention. I discipline often like my parents did, I take priviledges away and explain to Candace why I'm doing it. With the twins, even though they are young, they get a time out (which usually lasts a whole second but at least they are getting the idea), and they have to hug whomever they hurt/offended.

I'm not a perfect parent but I have little tolerance for children who have no manners. I expect my kids to respect all elders, anyone who is older than them must be respected, whether it's their cousin or their grandparents. I don't care if I'm not there, they are expected to be polite and courteous, specially when we are at someone else's house.

Does it always work? Of course not, but that doesn't mean I'm going to give up. My parents didn't give up and I am thankful for that. I finally learned that some behaviors are not acceptable, whether at home, school, or work. I believe I'm a better person because they weren't afraid to show me the error of my ways and point me in the right direction, and even more so, they weren't afraid to discipline me.

So my question is, do you discipline your friends' kids if they are misbehaving in your presence? Or your nieces/nephews? I do. Maybe that's why I'm not very popular with some parents. Then again, my 16 yr old niece, whom I have disciplined plenty of times, loves me and we have a very close relationship. Perhaps I'm not all wrong after all.

Resolutions for 2008

Quote of the day
"Great spirits have often encountered violent opposition from weak minds." Albert Einstein

So here we are. Friday. Looking forward to the weekend, even if it includes doing chores. I have Mt. Laundry growing inside my house and it has to be tamed.

Since this is 2008, I thought I list my resolutions (some are more like guidelines).

1. Tell my kids I love you all the time. It's so sad that so many kid shows send the message that parents just don't care for their kids. I want to make sure my kids know I love them.
2. Yell less. even if I'm running late and Candace is still lollygagging around the house, I can't find my keys, and the twins are hiding in Candace's room.
3. Read more, specially more of the "classics"
4. Stop cursing, even when I'm stuck in traffic, or my boss is driving me nuts.
5. Take my kids to Panama, and my husband too. I want them to see where I come from. It'll help them better understand why I am so adamant about not wasting food, or helping the needy.
6. Go skydiving.
7. Run for fun.
8. Be a better friend
9. Do more charity work with my daughter. I want her to see how rewarding it is to do things for others.
10. Laugh more.

Yesterday morning, on our way to school, Candace was looking through one of my Runner's World magazine and found an ad that showed kids running in a race. She turned to me and said "I want to do that". I don't have to tell you how proud I was in that moment. So I told her we are going to find a race this spring that has a 1-mile fun run that she can participate in. I have been looking at the MS Track Club's website and trying to decide which one would be a good one to do with her.

I guess that means I need to find her some proper attire too. Do they even make running clothes in kids' sizes?

You may not know...

"Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new." -Albert Einstein

I think I did this in my old blog, either way here it goes.

~ I am 1 of 5 girls. I'm the middle child.
~ I found out recently my name is Turkish
~ I have an irrational fear of the ocean. I get very anxious when I am near the ocean.
~ I love the mountains and would live near the mountains if I could.
~ Coffee is one of my favorite things. I like trying new blends, different roasts.
~ I love to cook
~ Growing up, I wanted to be an astronaut or a lawyer. I still do.
~ I love to dance
~ I hate mushrooms, peanut butter, and pickles.
~ I'm terrified of snakes.
~If money was not an issue, I would be a "professional" student. I love to learn.
~ I'm shy, stubborn, and bossy.
~ I want to move back to Panama one day.
~ I lived in Costa Rica for 2 yrs
~ I believe actions speak louder than words.
~ I have no tolerance for racism or bigotry
~ I don't care for people who believe their way is the only way. What works for someone else may not work for me. We were meant to be different.
~ I voted on my first election in 2000. I wish more people understood how important they are to the democracy in this country.
~ I'm a practicing Catholic, (even if I disagree with the church on some issues. ;) ), married to a Southern Baptist, and daughter of a Buddhist. Needless to say, I have a lot of respect for those who worship in a different way.
~ I like to debate on different issues (religion, politics, etc) in a civilized manner. Hence the reason I don't discuss religion or politics with people I don't know very well. I respect other people's opinions and expect the same. Unfortunately, when it comes to some topics, people can't agree to disagree.
~ I have "discovered" wheat beer and love it.

Don't you just love how I go from talking about politics/religion to beer? Randomness is my middle name.

New Year, New Blog! Welcoming 2008

I decided a new blog would help me keep in touch with the wonderful people I've met this past year, as well as family and friends. We all live busy lives, and I am not very good about picking up the phone and keeping in touch. So here it is, a brand new blog. I have to say I love Goggle, because it allows me to have this blog without losing the old blog from my MM 07.

Anyway, let's get started, shall we?
Title and quote at the top My favorite writer is Gabriel Garcia Marquez. He is Colombian, and winner of the Nobel Prize of Literature for his novel One Hundred Years of Solitude.
His latest work is his autobiography Vivir para Contarla (Living to tell the tale). I thought it fit this blog. Plus, I am going to be attempt to write a book this year, about my family, my life, emigrating to the US, finding a new home in a strange place, finding true love, starting a family, etc.

disclaimer Since this blog is about everything, not just running, I feel I should warn you, it could get boring.