Thank you 2013

Thank you 2013 for the lessons you brought our family this year.  Some have been painful, some have been easier to accept; but overall we have grown together as individuals and as a family.

Here is a recap of some of the lessons you've brought us:

1) No todo lo que brilla es oro :  Abuelo used to say that.  Not everything that's shiny is gold.  

2) Not everyone who smiles at you is your friend.  Your true friends accept you and love you, without conditions.  

3) Let go, and let God.  Repeat as often as necessary.

4)  When in doubt, see #3.

5) Homeschooling is quite an adventure.  It can work for you.  You will get what you put in.  No excuses.

6) No matter how much the kids fight, they love each other fiercely.  Even when they have each other on a headlock.

7)  Homeschooling = more dirty clothes, more dirty dishes, HAPPIER kids.

8) My husband is a very good teacher.  No one knows my kids better than him.

9) Work is challenging but no job is harder than being a parent.  Period.

10) You will have to live with the decisions you make.  Choose what is best for you and those you love, and forget about everyone else.  If they are your friends, they will support you.  If they were fake, they will phase their way out of your life.  In the end, those who stay were meant to be in your life.  

Looking forward to the lessons 2014 will bring.

This is how we rock and roll!

It has been three weeks since we took this picture on our first day of homeschool.  We have learned so much since then, and most of the lessons didn't come out of any of the books we are using.  

We were called to homeschool.  The circumstances that brought us here do not really matter, the fact is we were meant to do this.  From the moment we became parents, homeschooling our kids was part of our lives' plan and we had no idea.

Our boys are thriving with the one on one attention they are receiving.  They are happy as 7 year old boys should be. Last year while attending regular school, Cade had a lot of problems learning to read early in the year; while his brother was reading very well since kindergarten (thank you Mrs. C!).  This caused lots of doubts and self esteem issues for Cade.  We eventually got over that hump (after many nights reading and crying together) but his self esteem has taken longer to rebuild.

These past three weeks I have seen him blossom.  His self esteem has come back in full once he realized he is as smart as his twin brother and so very good at math.  Would he have reached his point in regular school?  I'll never know for sure, but I'm glad to see he is learning more than just academics now.  He is learning he was made to be great!

For Braden, last year was a struggle because of discipline.  Academically he was doing wonderfully but he would finish his work early and would start to play.  Or talk to someone else in class.  We would get notes every other day about how he was "interrupting class" by playing, or talking. His grades were great, his behavior was the issue.  He simply got bored waiting on the other kids to finish their work.
Needless to say, he no longer has to wait for anyone else.  He can finish his work and move on to things that matter to a 7 yr old, like PE and looking for bugs outside.  Even his handwriting (which was a huge issue for us last year) has improved considerably, just in three weeks of homeschool!

As for my sweet Candace, she has always been a great student.  It has taken her (and me!) more time to get used to the more relaxed approach that comes with being homeschooled.  The first thing I've noticed is her piano playing skills have improved tremendously.  She is was a good player already, but now she has more time to practice, but most importantly, she wants to practice.  I no longer have to remind her (over and over) to take time to practice.
She is also feeling more comfortable debating different subjects with me, and doesn't get flustered now when I ask her questions that are not in the textbook. She now goes and finds the answers and knows it is ok to know things that are not in the books.

My kids are learning from more than just books.  They are watching documentaries and using their computer to find videos on the educational websites.  They are going outside to explore and looking forward to field trips.  

"For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord".  I believe homeschool was part of that plan for our family.    

We made it thru week 2!

We survived our second week of homeschooling without any casualties.  No one has ran away from home in a screaming fit, no one has asked to go back to "regular school", no one has locked themselves in the bathroom and refused to come out.  And that's just the adults!

The truth is, we have settled into this a lot easier than I anticipated.  The kids are slowly finding their own rhythm.  The twins have adjusted really well, they are ready and eager to get their work done in the morning so they can get to the important stuff, like PE lessons and terrorizing their sister.  My girl is taking her time finding her rhythm.  Slowly, she is taking more and more ownership of her school work; and feeling more and more confident about structuring her daily schedule.  

Every day brings a lesson, at least in my opinion.  So here are a few of the lessons/realizations/thoughts for our 2nd week of homeschooling.  (Disclaimer: These are not all my own.  My husband is the one who does the teaching, but he doesn't blog and many of these are his thoughts.  The others are the kids, a few are mine.  I'm simply the crazy lady with the laptop and a blog)

Starting every "school day" with a prayer makes it go easier.  We are a Christian family. Even though we did not choose homeschooling for religious reasons, we are raising our kids in the ways of our faith.  Every week, I write our weekly Bible verse and place it on our bulletin board.  Every morning, my husband prays before everyone begins to tackle their assignments.  Wednesday, he mentioned how well things were going, and said "Starting every day with a prayer really does help me get thru the lessons".  

We are all teachers, even my husband.  If anyone had told my husband he would one day homeschool his children, he probably would have called them crazy (among other things).  I'm not sure anyone would expect my Harley ridding husband to have the patience to teach.  Yet here he is, educating his children.  And he is so good at it!  He finds ways to engage them, and keep their interest, and even quiz them without them realizing it. 

The cleaning fairy does exist.  Really, she does.  I'm not sure how it happened, but now that we are homeschooling, our house is cleaner than when the kids were attending regular school.  Mind you, it is NOT spotless.   There are still shoes they forget to pick up, and dishes they forget to take off the table.  But I can actually see the floors! All the school books and notebooks are always in its place and I don't have to wonder where the pencils are when it's time to work on something.  Maybe the kids like to have things in their place?  Nah, I'm pretty sure the cleaning fairy is real.

The laundry fairy, however, does not exist.  Laundry multiplies, no matter where your kids attend school.  I had this idea that once we started to homeschool, the amount of laundry would diminished.  I mean, the kids could do their school work in their pajamas.  Rather than wearing 3 outfits each day (school clothes, home clothes, then pajamas); they would wear maybe 2.  Nope, apparently my kids like to look their best no matter the occasion.  

Kids are highly adaptable creatures.  I have been amazed to see how easily they have become homeschoolers.  I know every week won't be easy.  I'm sure there will be whiny days, and sick days, and days we will all reconsider this choice. But the kids do understand that, even though we have a flexible schedule now, school work is still required.  They don't need a classroom, a chalkboard, to understand that school work is important.  

We are a team, all five of us.  I knew we were a family. I married the boy, we had the kids, we became a family.  But now we are a team.  The success of our homeschool depends on all of us; not just the adults.  The kids have taken their place on the team and are doing their part.  Our girl will help dad with a lesson if the boys are just not "getting it" the way he is explain it.  They don't fuss when she does, they simply listen to her.  The boys do their assignments without issues, always ready to get done and move to the next thing.  And my husband, the tough guy who many doubted could do this, is doing an amazing job at engaging and teaching the kids.  
I'm doing my part too, I guess.  I do the planning and make sure their weekly schedules are ready for them.  As my friend Terri said, I'm just managing the team, they are doing the real work.

And they are doing a beautiful job.




 

For the love of Learning

I would be lying if I said I knew I wanted  to homeschool the minute I held my daughter in my arms almost 12 years ago.  How we came to this decision is a long story for another time.

As I did my research (have I mention how much I research stuff?), the more it seemed homeschool kids simply love to learn.  That's not to say that children who attend regular school don't, I guess what I'm trying to say is there are more opportunities for homeschool kids to explore a topic they are interested in, research it, enjoy it.   Again, not bashing schools or teachers.  I attended private school, public school and I loved to learn and still do.   

It is hard to explain what I mean when I say I want my kids to have a love of learning.  As I was driving home the other day, a memory came to mind of my 6th grade science class.  Yes, I can remember that far back.  It was almost *gasp* 30 years ago but I still remember it.   I think that memory summarizes what I wish all children, not just mine, would get to experience in a school setting.

My 6th grade teacher's name was Carmen de Esquivel.  How impressed are you that I remember her full name?  I surprise myself sometimes.  She had a reputation for being very strict, so going into her class I had some apprehension.  I remember our lesson on cloud formation, which was part of the whole unit about the water cycle.  My science book had this pretty picture that depicted all these different shaped clouds, and the name scientists gave those clouds.  We sat in the classroom and listened to the lesson, and tried not to stare out the window into the big blue sky.

Until Ms. Esquivel told us to line up by the door; and guide us outside.  Into the playground area.  And told us to look up at the clouds.  If I close my eyes, I can still feel the sun on my skin, and the wind on my hair as I stood there looking at the clouds on the beautiful blue sky.  She asked us the names for the different shaped clouds, and share some more information while we were seating outside on that playground.

I have never looked at the sky in the same way again.  I'm sure that's not the only lesson that took place outside but that's the one I remember when I think about my love of learning.  I want that for my kids.  I want them to never look at anything the same way again.  I want that one lesson to spark their curiosity and make them thirst for knowledge.

So yes, homeschooling affords me that opportunity.  They can spend time learning about volcanoes, or Egyptians mummies; passed the allotted time they would have at school.  

I know there are more teachers out there like Ms. Esquivel who try to spark that love of learning in the kids they teach.  I'm thankful for her and for them. 

Homeschooling. The least conventional way

After much anticipation and what seems like years of preparation, we have finally joined the ranks of homeschoolers. 


In the months prior to our joining, I have spent countless hours reading blogs from other homeschooling families, researching curriculum, looking at pictures of "school rooms" in Pinterest; and finally I've come to the conclusion that we are like no other homeschooling family.  At least none I've found.

For starters, I am not the one doing the teaching.  I'm the one who gets up in the wee hours of the morning, yells at unsuspecting drivers on the way to work, and puts in 9 hours each day in a downtown office.  Where most homeschooling families have a mom doing the teaching, ours has a dad (wonderful dad!) who is willing to take on the task of educating the kids to my ridiculously high expectations.

And yes, while I'm at it, I know sometimes I have unrealistic expectations, and that I expect my kids to be smarter than most children, but that's just me.  I figure if we aim high and not achieve it, we'll still achieve our goal.

As I was saying, I spent countless hours looking for blogs about families like ours: families where dad did the schooling, mom went to the office every day, and they both had a significant role in their children's education.  I'm pretty certain there are homeschool dads out there, we can't be the only family with one.  I came across a few blogs that had not been updated in several years, which made me wonder: did the dads call it quits, did they get too busy and no longer had time to update their blogs? I guess I'll never know.  

I have been very surprised to be asked "are you quitting your job?" every time we've mentioned homeschooling.  Are we conditioned to think men are not capable of teaching?  Because every professor I had in college was male, and there are many male teachers in elementary and high school.  Is it because mom usually stays home?  I'm never sure why the question come, but it is usually accompanied by a look of disapproval.  

What most of these people never bother to ask is what my role is in this homeschooling adventure.  I wonder if they think simply because I'm not doing the teaching, I'm not involved in the schooling.  

Truth be told, I'm the mastermind of this whole operation.  *insert evil laugh* .  Once we made the decision (it was a joint decision, not just mine); I knew the researching, learning, finding curriculum, getting organized, keep up with records, etc, would fall on me.  That's just the roles we have in our family, I'm the one who does the planning, even if my husband does the execution of the plan. Homeschooling is no different.  I put the lesson plans together, I keep their schedules straight, I run the operation behind the scenes.  

We are just on week two of homeschooling, but I can see already it will only work if all parties (parents and kids) communicate.  The kids let me know if they don't like something in a lesson.  Dad will tell me if he notices the kids listen better if read to, rather than having to do the reading, or if the material in a textbook is boring.  Homeschooling is more than just school at home, it's a family endeavour.  

So here we are.  Homeschoolers.  I can add that to the list of things I never thought I would be.  But I'm certainly glad we are on this path.

Tic Toc, Tic Toc

Time is ticking away and soon we will be starting our school year.  Our first as a homeschooling family.  I have moments when I'm super excited and confident; and moments of cheer panic and doubts.  I sure hope this is normal. 

Right now, while most of my friends with school age kids are buying school supplies, I'm looking over the curriculum I chose, and starting to plan our lessons, but most importantly trying to figure when to start and end the school year so we can cover all the material I want them to learn; and still have fun learning.  Not an easy task, let me tell you.

Some families choose box curriculums, every subject published by the same company, and everything is ready for day one.   Needless to say, I didn't go this route.  All three of my kids have very distinct learning styles, one size does not fit all in this house.  I decided to be an "ecletic homeschooler".  Sounds fancy, doesn't it?  That's just a nice way to say I'm a rebel (hotty toddy!) and I don't like being put inside a "box".  Not even a curriculum box that would have made all this planning a whole lot easier.  

So, I have pieced together the curriculum for the kids.  I have chosen math from one company, english and science from another, history from another.  You get the idea.

Without further ado, I present to you our game plan.  I reserved the right to change my mind any time during the implementation of said plan, and to drop something if it just isn't working.  And to keep the tearing of my hair to a minimum.

Math of course, because this is a must.  Picking a curriculum wasn't exactly easy.  Did you know there is a spiral method of teaching math? I didn't til I started looking for a curriculum.  Ruled out the spiral method because that's what the kids used in school last year and I did not care for it; specially for the boys. 

Science is another "must".  There is an unspoken rule (not sure the kids are aware yet ha!), they must like science.  It's fascinating, it's fun, it's alive.  How can you not like it?   I was so excited when I got the teacher's guide for 6th grade and saw there is a whole unit of chemistry in the book!  How cool is that?  (if you had nightmares related to chemistry in school, I'm sorry.  My nightmares were biology related)

English and all it entails.  This one really confused me because I kept finding "language arts" curriculum; and I had no idea what the heck that entailed.  So, I have a curriculum that covers grammar, reading, writing.  And we'll use a website they used last year for spelling.  That should cover it.  To be honest, of all the courses I'm planning for this year, this one is the scariest.

History also made the list.  My girl asked to do ancient history this year, so that's what we are doing for her.  For the boys, will probably do US History.  Simply an intro to history.  I love history, but didn't like having to read it for class and memorize stuff.  So we are definitely going to try and make it as much fun as possible.

Geography because, in my opinion, there are too many people who don't have a clue there is more than Mexico south of the US border.  Sorry, that's a huge pet peeve of mine.  If I had a dime for every time someone asked me if Panama was a) part of Mexico or b) in Florida; I would have enough to retire now.  Anyway, so all three of the kids will be doing geography this year. Didn't buy a curriculum for this one; I'm going to use a map and focus this year on the American continent. So far they know where Mississippi and Panama are located.  

Spanish is also on the list.  This one is right up there with math, english, and science.  Rule numero uno, Spanish only when talking to me.  We'll start slow but they will have to practice it to learn it.  I'm hoping by the end of the year, they'll be able to at least understand when their grandmother asked them if they are hungry.

Bible was a request from my girl.  She wants to read more of the Old Testament so that's what we are going to do.   

Life Skills or home economics because everyone should know how to cook, sew,and iron including my boys.  I learned to cook when I was 12, so I know my girl is ready, and it's not too early for the boys to help mix pancakes, and make cookies.  We have discussed sewing before but hadn't done anything about it yet.  Again, no curriculum just teaching her the things I learned as a child.  And teaching her to iron clothes.  Maybe I need to recruit my mom to help with that one.  I'm not a fan of ironing.  

Art because at some point they are going to have to color, right? I'm not an artist, and the artistic genes skipped me.  I think we'll visit the museum of art, learn about a few famous artist, and let the natural artists in them come out.

I sure hope we can fit all that into a schedule without overwhelming everyone.  We still have dance, and piano for the girl, martial arts for one of the boys, and soccer for the other.  

Now comes the fun part.  Put it all together, in a cohesive manner, so everyone knows what we are doing ahead of time.  Sometimes I find myself hoping for a clone, so I can spend more time planning, and planning.  

Wish us luck, will you?  My goal for this year is to make learning FUN.  I want the kids to realize they can learn everywhere, not just inside a classroom and not just from a textbook.  Let the fun begin!






 

I'm just me and that's good enough

Since we decided to homeschool earlier this year, I've been doing research.  I've read blog after blog, I've researched methods, looked at curriculums, read reviews for both methods and curriculums.  I've had a full homeschool overload.

It seems the more I read, the more I researched, the more my insecurities grew.  I had a few nights where I couldn't go to sleep, overwhelmed with the numerous decisions we had to make.  What curriculum is the best?  What method should I use?  What if my kids hate me for homeschooling them?

I came across a blog the other day (posted by another homeschool mom) that made me realize I'm not alone.  It's ok to be afraid, as long as you don't let the fears take over.

Bottom line is we are not like all other families.  We haven't ever fit the "mold" that most families fit in.  Why start now?

Our homeschool is going to be a reflection of who we are, of our family.  It's not going to be like anyone elses'.  We are unique individuals, and a unique family, so our choices for homeschooling will be unique too.

Talk about having an epiphany!

We may not have a "homeschool room" that resembles a classroom, but we are still going to learn.  We may not use the curriculum the majority of the people we know use, but we will use what works for us.  After all, this "school" doesn't have to fit inside any mold, we can make what we want to fit our needs.

I'm not a perfect mother but I love my kids more than anything in this world.  I want them to love to learn, to be fascinated by all the things that surround them, to discover the beauty of this world.  There is not curriculum that will teach that.  That can only come from us, and how much fun we make this adventure.

So I've come to terms with the fact I'm just me.  A very analytical, scientific mother who does endless research before making a decision.  I may choose engineering based math for my kids and expect them to learn Spanish this next year, and add home economics to our curriculum.  But the bottom line is, I won't set them up for failure.  

I'm their mother, and I know them better than anyone.  And as long as I let my love for them guide the decisions we make, that will be good enough.

Yes I'm scared!

Truth be told, I'm scared.  That's not something I readily admit because I like to think I am fearless.  I guess when it comes to my kids, I'm not.

We decided earlier this year to homeschool.  We know it's the right thing for our family, the kids are excited, we are excited.  We've found a great support system, friends to encourage us along the way, and we are ready to embark on this journey.

But I'm scared.  There.  I said it.  I am scared.  Not afraid.  Scared.

As my good friend Terri said (she is a lot better with words than I), it's ok to be scared because keeps moving you forward.  Being afraid paralizes you.

So I am scared.  We are going to homeschool, and I know it's going to be a great adventure for all us.  But I'm still scared.  There are so many decisions to be made.  I have yet to narrow down my curriculum because I keep thinking "is this the best one for my kids?".  I worry that my children will hate me for making this decision for them.  I worry that I'll be hindering their learning by teaching them at home.

Then I remember that we are their first teachers.  No one, no teacher in the world, no matter how dedicated, loves them more than we do.  I know what they like and what they dislike.  I know how they learn, what excites them and what bores them. I know one loves dinosaurs and will watch documentaries about them without ever saying "this is boring".  I know the other loves learning about animals, and insects.  He will start a collection of bugs if I let him bring them in the house.  And my girl loves music.  All music. Not just the pop music kids listen to these days.  She knows about Bach, Beethoven, and Mozart and has her favorites.  She loves the Beatles, and has taught herself to play several of their songs on the piano.  

I can build a curriculum around their likes and dislikes or  I can buy a curriculum that comes in a box.  The choice is mine.  It all depends on whether I am going to be scared or afraid.

I guess I will chose to be scared and move forward; praying along the way that fear doesn't get in the way.

A legacy of service

A few years back, I was attending a retreat centered around the 7 Habits of Highly Effective people.  One of the exercises they had us do that week was to write down a mission statement for your life.  I thought at first that was kind of silly.  A mission statement for my life?  I just want to be happy!  Do I really need to write that down?

They explained that companies use mission statements to keep their goals in mind, and so we should create one for our lives.  I set out to create mine.  Turns out it was more difficult than I had anticipated.  I eventually came up with five things, one of those "leave a legacy in the lives of my children".

What exactly is a legacy?  The dictionary says it is "something transmitted by or received from an ancestor or predecessor or from the past".  So it can be just about anything.   Their values, their faith, their bad habits (ha!).  

Events of this past weekend and this week have gotten me thinking about my legacy to my kids.  What do I want them to carry with them into the world the day they leave my home?  This last weekend, at the conference I attended, this lady talked about how she learned about service by watching her parents.  She never realized other parents weren't like hers, involved in the community, and always helping others.  She simply thought all families just did that.

I want to leave a legacy of service in my kids.  I want them to count their blessings, and share them with those less fortunate.  I wish for them to have a heart of service, a giving heart.  I realize that's not something you can teach by just telling someone "you should be charitable, you should share your blessings with the less fortunate".  You have to lead by example.

I hope one day, when my children leave my home, they will have learned that sometimes, giving money is not enough.  Sometimes people just need (as the song says)  "someone to lean on".  Someone to listen.  Someone to care.  And that the best gift we can give others is our compassion, not our money.  It doesn't matter if you have no money, you always, always have something valuable to give someone in need: your time, your compassion.

The Bucket List

I created a bucket list a few years.  Things I want to do before I (literally) kick the bucket.   I have put it aside, since are pricey (going to Japan); some are risky (sky diving) and some I had just forgotten all about.

It wasn't until we set down this homeschooling path that a friend reminded me of that item on my list:  teaching.

I'm as terrified as I would have been if I was going into a school to teach.  These are my kids, we can drive one another insane on occasion and now we get to spend more time with one another and learn together. 

But no one knows them better than I, no one understands them better so I'm confident we will adjust and move forward in this journey and be glad we took it.

I'm also excited I'm starting to cross things off the list before the proverbial 40 runs around! 

A Thankful Heart

I grew up in a Christian home, attended a Christian school most of my life, and I've been a practicing Christian for as long as I can remember. But praying in public has never been "my thing".

The church I grew up in was very formal.  We didn't say "amen" to show we agreed with the pastor's remarks during the sermon.  There was no such thing as "revival".  We prayed in church, we prayed in school, we prayed at home.  In public areas? Not so much.

I'm an introvert, so that whole idea of praying in public has always made me uneasy.  Not because I doubt my faith but because introverts like me don't care to be on the spotlight.

My children are being raised in a different church than the one I grew up in.  They have been to revival, they have heard "amen" during service, and prayed before meals at church and at home.

I've always given thanks for the food on the table.  If you know me well, you know my family has been through a lot, so I never take any blessings for granted.  I know so many go without so I'm grateful for the blessings I have.  But I've never been one to pray over my food at a restaurant.  Remember that introvert thing?  Add that to the fact praying in public always felt "fake" to me.  I felt as if I was trying to call attention to myself.   I'm not passing judgement on those who do it, I'm simply sharing why I never had.

A month or so ago, we went out to eat with the kids; which isn't that different from all other times we go out to eat, as it seems we usually go with them everywhere.  Anyway, once our order arrived, one of my boys said " wait, don't eat yet, we have to bless the food".

I have to admit, I was shocked.  We say the blessing at home, usually three times, because each child wants to say their version.  But we have never done in  public.  So I was surprised at his suggestion.

So we bowed our heads and he blessed the food.  I'm sure people looked at us, and in all honesty, I wasn't even aware at that moment.  All I could think about was how proud I was to know my children have thankful hearts.

All I've ever wanted was for my kids to be thankful for all their blessings, and to share those blessings with others.  It never occurred to me they would be sharing that blessing with me. 


 

My kids are perfect... NOT!

Do you ever hear your parents voice inside your head, saying something to you about how to behave when you were at someone else's house?  I do, all the time.

My parents were very clear about their expectations of me.  When it came to school grades and my behavior while at school, there was no doubt I needed to be at my best.  They didn't necessarily expect straight As, they did expect me to do my very best always.

The same extended to my behavior outside the house.  I was a "reflection of them" when I was not at home.  If I misbehaved, it reflected badly on them as parents.  My parents were far from perfect but I knew they were serious about their expectations of me. I always knew I had to be polite when I was at someone's house, to say please  and thank you, and to be respectful of all elders, regardless of who they were.

It is now my turn to be a parent, and to remind my kids they are a reflection of me when they are outside our home.  They are expected to be polite and respectful at all times, and I expect any adult who sees them acting like brats to tell me so I can address it.

I'm not naive to think my kids are perfect.  They can drive me crazy in a millisecond, and there is very little (if anything!) that you can tell me about them that I don't already know.  If someone tells them they have said something rude or have misbehaved while in their presence, my children know I will take that very seriously.  Every time they are going somewhere without me they get the "speech" as to how they need to behave.

Do they always behave when I'm not around?  I'm sure they have moments but hopefully those are far and few in between.  And hopefully the adults supervising them have said something to them (and to me!) so we can correct the issue.

Kids are kids, I get that.  Even adults act like brats from time to time.  But it never ceases to amaze me when I see  children who act like idiots without so much as a "look" from their parents.  They have no respect for their own parents, much less any other adult.  It doesn't matter where they are; they act as if they rule the world and the rest of us in it.  

I know kids get unruly, mine do, specially in a group of kids.  I'm talking about more than unruly. I'm talking disrespectful.  Ignoring adults trying to redirect their actions, or behaviors, and just doing whatever they want to do.  

The thing that bothers me most?  When the parent is either watching and does nothing or is told about it, and actually looks upset to hear their precious angel is anything but.  Do they really think their kids are perfect?  

I think most people who know me and know my kids know they can tell me when my precious angels misbehave and expect me to do something about it.  Most of the time that something involves an apology to that teacher, church volunteer, whoever they have disrespected with their behavior.  Am I too hard on my kids?  I don't think so.  I don't want them to grow up thinking they are entitled to act like brats any time they want.  I certainly don't like putting up with brats that belong to me, much less brats who belong to other people.

I'm not sure when parents stopped telling their kids how to behave.  Or why some parents think their kids are entitled to disrespect other people without so much as a "don't do that" look.  
Kids will act like kids but there are things (like raising your voice to an adult, or ignoring what they are telling you) that are big no-no in my book.  

So if you are ever around my kids and they act like fools, please tell me.  I promise I will address the issue and you will have my respect for bringing it to my attention.  If I tell you your kids have been disrespectful, I hope you extend me the same courtesy.  
 

Are you sure about this?

A few months ago, my husband and I made the decision to homeschool our kids. Yes, you read that right.  We are going to homeschool.

In typical ME fashion, I have worked myself (more than once) into a panic attack over this life changing decision.  It's not that I doubt I can teach my children what they need to know.  I know I can.  That's the easy part of this decision.  It's the venture into the unknown that keeps me awake at night.

I have spent countless hours reading about homeschooling.  I have researched it, asked question, researched it some more, and then some more after that.  I know it's the right thing for us.  I want our kids to have a LOVE for learning as I did when I was growing up.  I want them to be excited about history, and arts, and literature.  Yes, I want them to be "nerds" as I was.

I had the typical misconception about homeschooling than most people do.  I admit it.  I figured all those who choose it were "different" (as in weird), were radical in their beliefs, have 20+ kids, grown their own food, and live in a compound.  Mostly because I didn't really know any, other than the ones I saw on that TLC show.  I'm sure there are families out there that probably fit that description.  But I was pleasantly surprised to find there are many families that fit under the "normal" umbrella (whatever normal means).

How we arrived at this decision isn't as important as the fact we chose it for our family.  If you know us, you know we are anything but your typical family.  We like it that way, we thrive in being different, and guess what? Homeschooling fits right into our definition of normal.

I have to admit, it is overwhelming to realize you are in charge of your children's education.  I have no doubt we can teach them what they need to know.  But there will be no one to blame but us if they don't understand the Pythagorean Theorem, or Newton's Laws.  

At the same time, it is exciting.  It's an adventure.  One we have been on without even knowing.  Every trip to the zoo, or the aquarium, the museums, they were all learning opportunities.  Our trip to Panama, collecting seashells on the beach, all educational opportunities.  We have been teaching our kids outside a classroom all along.

I want my children to LOVE learning.  That's one gift I received as a kid.  My parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins, they all homeschooled me without even knowing there was a name for such a thing.  They made me want to learn, from books, from people, newspapers, and magazines.  I was the nerdy kid who got excited about school because I just knew there was a new adventure waiting, a new discovery just around the corner.

Perhaps it was the fact the educational system is different in Panama.  Perhaps it was that I had amazing teachers who nurture my desire to learn.  Or the fact my parents encouraged me to learn outside of the school building.  I don't know, but my desire to learn new things has never diminished.  

I want that for my kids.  I want them to lay outside and look at the stars and find the constellations.  Or notice the different cloud formations on the sky.  To be excited about discovering new things every day.  

Yes I know.  My children are not me.  There are no guarantees they will love learning as much as I do.  But I can at least try, can't I?  

So soon we will be joining the ranks of homeschooling families.  Don't hold your breath waiting for the announcement we are increasing the number of kids in our family.  Or that I'll be moving into a compound, or wearing skirts down to my ankles.  Not going to happen.

Do expect to hear all about our adventure, including the exciting parts and the not-so-pleasant moments.  I'm excited.  I have a road map, with numerous detours, all pointing to the same exact destination:  Happy Kids who embrace Life as the learning adventure it is.  

I was in jail...

Some of you know a month ago I was in jail.  I spent 3 ½ days in jail.  It would probably shock some of you to learn I enjoyed every second I spent there; and I’m thankful God sent me there.

I was not alone, I was there as part of the Kairos MS team, with one big goal in mind, to bring God’s love into the lives of these women inside the prison.  That simple was our mission, to bring God’s love.

As anyone would guess, I had my own prejudices and fears before going in.  After all, these women are in there for committing a crime.  But as the time grew near, I found my fears and prejudices were changing.  I wasn’t afraid of getting hurt while in jail, I was afraid that I would get in the way, that I would allow my humanity to overshadow what God was trying to do thru me. 

I was blessed to go as part of an incredible group of volunteers who are passionate about this ministry and who were willing to share their experiences with me.  So I figured, if they continue to serve, it must be a pretty great experience, right?   

To say I was blown away by it would be an understatement.  There simply are no words that can express the experience.  I spent 3 ½ days inside a prison, laughing, crying, sharing with inmates and loved every second.   When the weekend came to an end, I was sad.  There were good byes and there were tears.

Since I left the prison, I have thought about my sisters in Christ that are inside CMCF.  I wonder how they are doing, what their life has been like since their Kairos weekend.  Some of their faces pop into my head more often than the others.  I figured God is telling me I need to pray for them individually.  So I usually stop and pray. 

I learned during my weekend in prison we are all just one bad decision away from being in jail.  Just one.  We have all made bad choices in the past.  Some could have landed us there, in jail, alongside these women.  We were blessed to have someone in our lives “who knew better”; who watched over us and directed us.  Some of these women didn’t.  But hopefully now they have Christ.  And with Him by their side, they can do anything.

Christ was there that weekend.  Only He could take my prejudices and turn them into love.  His love.  I hugged these women and felt His love pass from me to these women.  Going into this weekend, I didn’t know what crimes any of these women had committed.  I honestly didn’t care to know.  They have sinned and their sins are public, and out there for the world to know.  But we are all sinners, and all of our sins are the same in God’s eyes.  Christ died for their sins just as He did for mine.

Since I left the prison, I have found out what their offenses were.  And you know what?  It hasn’t changed my experience, or the way I feel about these women.  They are His daughters too.  He loves them as He loves me.  And they are worthy of my prayers too. Each has a place in my prayers and my heart.

I’m so thankful God called me to serve Him inside that prison, on that weekend, to those women.  So incredibly thankful for the opportunity and for the blessing.  I ask, next time you are praying, pray for the inmates inside CMCF, pray for the Kairos volunteers, and for all those who minister for those inside prison walls. 

Sorpresas te da la vida...

Life will surprise you.  Yes indeed!

Most of my adult life, I've heard women say "I've been dreaming of my wedding day since I was a little girl", or "when I was a kid, I knew what kind of wedding I wanted", etc, etc.  You get the idea.

I wasn't one of those girls.  I never dreamed of my wedding day.  NEVER.  Never wondered what it would be like to walk down the aisle, dressed in a white gown, with a veil on my head and with a handsome man waiting for me at the altar.  I didn't daydream of the day prince charming would come and sweep me off my feet, and we'd ride together into the sunset.  Not once.

Maybe you are wondering what kind of childhood I had. Was I a tomboy?  Am I missing the girl gene that makes the other girls dream of prince charming?  Maybe the answer is yes to both.  I never liked dolls, never in my almost 40 years owned a Barbie.  Never wanted one, not even as a kid.  One of my earliest memories is asking my mom for a Tonka Truck for Christmas.  Yes, you read that right, a Tonka truck.  It may seem odd, specially when I grew up surrounded by four sisters.  I still remember how happy I was to find a green Tonka jeep under the tree that year. 

Don't get me wrong, I liked boys growing up.  I had crushes and swooned if one of them looked my way.  But from there to dreaming they would one day be my chosen beloved, that was a leap I never made.  That stayed with me until college.  My friends, those who knew me when my last time was still Gutierrez, will probably tell you I was very adamant about one thing :  No marriage, and No kids.

Of course, I never took into account that a handsome man would sweep me off my feet, and that I would find myself married at the young age of 26.  Or that I would find myself the mother of three kids.

I'm glad life surprised me, and brought my way the 4 people who share my house.  They are pretty awesome folks, and definitely love me enough to put up with me all the time.  I have my best friend under the same roof, and three amazing little beings who remind me every day I have a purpose in life. I would not trade them for the world.

The other day I read a statement from a mom who said she missed being pregnant and missed breastfeeding.  It made me wonder if I'm really missing that gene I mentioned earlier.  I don't miss my pregnancies.  I love my children, and I'm glad I was able to give them life but I did not enjoy any part of the pregnancy.  I didn't like having to carry 30+ extra pounds, not to mention the extra fat I accumulated eating for 2, and 3 people at once.  I do not miss having to sleep on my side, or my back, when my favorite position is sleeping on my belly.  I do not miss having to lay in bed for weeks to give the boys more incubation time.  I don't miss the extra swelling of hands, feet, and face, sleepless nights, not to mention the heartburn.  I simply don't. 

I wonder if those women had the perfect pregnancies, and that's why they miss it.  If they did, good for them.  I'm glad all that is over and done. 

I'm a huge advocate for breastfeeding.  I am lucky enough to be part of a culture where breastfeeding is not only encouraged, but expected.  I don't miss breastfeeding though.  Even though I tried it with both pregnancies, it was difficult for me.  Not to go into details, but it made me feel inadequate as a woman and a mother.  Thank God for the lactation consultant who told me I could bond with my twins as I bottlefed them, just as I did when I breastfed them.  I know many women out there successfully do it, I wasn't one of them.  My experience wasn't what I anticipated, so I don't miss it.

When my firstborn was on her way, I wondered if I was made to be mom.  I didn't fit the typical idea of what a mom should be.  I had a career and all intention to keep it after she was born.  What if I didn't have any maternal instinct? What if I didn't love this new person instantly?

I have learned in the last ten years that being a mom is about building a relationship with this new person.  Candace and I had to get to know each other, and become the mother and daughter we are today.  Yes, I loved her from day one and would have died for her (and still would!) but I am reminded often she is her own person.  Not an extension of me.  Not an accessory.  She is her own being, and she deserves to be respected as such.  The same is true of my boys. 


I am not the perfect mother.  There are many times, after they are in bed, and I climbed (exhausted!) into mine, when I wonder if I am doing a good job. Am I raising human beings who will go out into the world and make a difference in some way?  There are many times when I feel as a bad mom.

I look at these kids, at the amazing people they are, how kind, loving, and caring they are; and I think maybe I don't have to do anything other than provide an environment where they can thrive.  They were made to be amazing, loving creatures; that's not my creation.  Maybe all I have to do is love them, guide them, and watch them grow.

La vida esta llena de sorpresas...

Are you kidding me?

You know, I like my job.  I enjoy what I do, and most days I actually like the people I work with.  But every now and then I'm left wondering what the f*** is wrong with people these days.  Why can't people simply do their job?

I work in state government, and yes I have heard every comment imaginable about how lazy state employees are, how "easy" we have it, etc.  The majority of the people in this agency don't fit in the stereotype that's out there, most of us (yes, I'm including myself here) are willing to go above and beyond to do what we were hired to do.  Perhaps it has to do with the fact the majority of the people here are scientists and engineers.  I honestly do not know.

Most of the time, I haven't cared if the person in the office next door was snoring while I was buried under a pile of reports, they simply weren't my problem.  Their job performance didn't affect mine, so I could not care less if they didn't do anything.  Did it aggravate me? It most certainly did, just not enough to leave me reaching  for the antiacids.

Well, now I'm responsible for other people's job performance.  Don't get me wrong, I like telling people what to do.  My siblings probably would tell you I was born to boss people around.
I don't mind telling people something needs to get done.  But I dislike having to tell someone to do something over, and over, and over, and over, and over...  I repeat myself plenty at home, I don't want to go to work and have to do the same thing I do with my kids.

Why is it so difficult to simply do what's expected?  I don't understand.  Is it lack of work ethic?  Do they know no better, or do they simply don't give a rat's behind?

I've had to spend some time asking myself if I'm expecting too much from people.  Am I asking they do things the way I would do them, or just asking that they do them?
Maybe it's a little of both.

I expect that when I, the supervisor, ask you, the employee to do something, that you'll at least look me in the eyes as I explain it to you and give me the respect I deserve. Not because I'm the boss, but because I'm a person and not a piece of furniture.


I'm not perfect.  I am loud and speak my mind more often than I should.  I'm sure my former (and probably current) supervisor would say I can be opinionated and stubborn.  I'm also sure none of them would say I've ever done "just enough" to get by at any job I've had.

It was 4th grade...

We have survived the first week of school at our house.  The boys are now in kindergarten and for the first time, they are apart most of the day.  The decision to ask for separate classrooms for them wasn't easy. Then again, most parenting decisions are seldom easy.  Unless you are telling your child he has no use for an iPod at age 5.  Now that one is quite easy.

Candace is starting fourth grade, and happy-go- lucky as usual.   She has her best friends in class with her, the teacher she wanted, and life is as good as it can be, through the eyes of a nine year old.  

Every year, I pray they get good teachers.  Teachers who will not only teach them everything they need to know, but who will also make learning an exciting adventure.  I want them to have teachers like the ones I had,  teachers who will inspire them to never stop learning, who will make school a fascinating place and every school year an exciting one.

Most of my teachers were like that, with the exception of my 4th grade teacher.   She made quite an impression on me and for all the wrong reasons. 

By the time I made it to 4th grade,  I had good study habits and just LOVED school.  If they had told me I had to attend year round, I would have been the happiest kid on earth.  Learning and studying came easy for me because I had had such great teachers until then.

Fourth grade started like any other normal year for me until my teacher and I had our first "incident".  I still remember how the classroom looked, where I was sitting on that particular day, how much light was coming through the windows and the beautiful trees I could see on the other side of them. 

The teacher asked the class a question, and no one besides me raised their hand.  But she didn't call on me.  She simply ignored me and kept on with the lesson.  She asked a few more questions, and again, no one but me raised their hand.  She scowled and called on me.  I gave her the answer, and it so happened I was right.  

It was time for recess and as I was walking out of the classroom passed her, she pulled me back by my ponytail. 

She was a tall, hefty woman, and I was a tiny 9 year old, much smaller than Candace is.  Imagine for a second this woman, pulling on my ponytail, and holding my head back so she could look me in the eyes and say "You think you are very smart, don't you?".  

I vividly remember looking straight into her eyes, and replying "Yes, I AM smart", and the look of disgust in her face when she realized she had not intimidated me.

I went home and told my parents, and my dad went to school the next day to speak to her.  I'm not sure what all he said, but she never spoke to me that way again or put a hand on me.  She barely made eye contact the rest of the school year.  I still made As and was at the top of my class but the impression this woman made on me has remained even 28 years later.

Without knowing, she taught me a valuable lesson, how to stand up for myself, regardless of how formidable my opponent may be.  She didn't ruin my love for school, she didn't make me self conscious about my ability to learn and do well.  I wonder now if I did so well to prove to her I was smart and not afraid to show it.

I'm not sure what became of her, or if she ever treated another child the same way she treated me.  I surely hope not.  I pray no one ever does that to any of my kids either, or any child for that matter.

On Life and other things

It has been a while since I blogged.  Blame it on life, I simply got busy, then started thinking I really have nothing to say.  You can figure out the rest.

I still may not have anything to say but blogging is quite therapeutic for me, and lord knows, I'm in need of therapy these days.  So here it goes.

Summer is here, and with it, the most torturous time in a woman's life: Bathing Suit Season.  Life was so much easier 10 years ago, when I was fit and in great shape, and stupid enough to pass on the opportunity to wear a two piece.

Here I am now, older, wiser (ha!), and with three kids who love everything water.  Of course, I no longer have that body, but now I'm forced to either go to the pool in a t-shirt and shorts, or find a bathing suit that "flatters" my new figure.

The first thing people tell me when I say I'm on a diet is "why, you don't need to lose weight".  Well, looks can be (and are in my case) deceiving.  I can afford to lose 15 pounds and still be within the recommended weight range for my height.  But that's easier said than done.  The older I've gotten, the harder it is to get rid of the weight.  So I'm embarking (again!) on that journey.  Wish me luck.  I love food.

As if trying to lose weight was not enough, I've also been dealing with the "blues" lately.  And I don't mean the BB King, Breeze Kings type. 

Call it the blues, depression, under the weather, it really boils down to one thing, you just feel blah, without energy or desire to do anything, not even those things you enjoy the most.

I have found most people have a misguided idea that one has to have a reason to be depressed in order to suffer from depression.  If I had a $1 for every time I've been asked "why are you depressed, you have a great _______", I'd have enough money to take a European vacation.

I'm no expert when it comes to mental illness, but I do know, in my case at least, I don't need a reason.  It just happens.  I've been told by those who know more about depression than I, that it can be caused by stress.  well, hello!  Working mother of 3 on aisle one!  

Other people have pointed out I must not be a good Christian, otherwise I would not be affected by depression.  Their logic is, if you trust in the Lord, then you don't have anything to be worried/stressed about.  Sounds simple, right?  In my opinion, if they were better Christians, they would be trying to HELP, not JUDGE.  But I digress.

Different people get affected differently, and for me stress is a trigger.  Most of the time I can "see" it coming, I can notice when doing normal things becomes harder and when the things I enjoy fall by the wayside.  I missed all the signs this last time, and didn't realize what was happening until it had already happened.  It took having an anxiety attack (another one of those fun side effects) to realize something was off.

Thing is, most people don't have a clue I've been dealing with this.  I still get out of bed every day, go to work every day, take care of the house/kids/chores/husband (not in that order), and do the things that need to get done in order to keep our life in order.  

Some people think depressed people are in a dark room, sleep all the time, never seeing anyone.  I guess there are some of those people out there, but I'm not one of them.  Unless you knew me well, you probably wouldn't see a difference in me.

Aside from the "blah" feeling, my body sends me signals too.  I get the aches and pains that make me wonder if my parents got my birthday wrong in the birth certificate.  All of those are a sign that something is off.

I'm on the other side of the D valley now.  One step at a time, climbing back out of the pit.  Good days and bad days.  Granted, anyone who reads this will know, but those who don't, will probably not notice a difference at all.  

And that's my point for this rambling. (I do have a point!).  Never judge a book by its cover.  Someone may be dealing with something big and show no signs whatsoever.  Be kind to everyone and treat people as you would like to be treated; because you never know what they are dealing with.

One last word of advice, if someone tells you they are dealing with weight issues, or depression; be supportive.  Life is a challenge without having to answer 20 questions every time you share a bit about yourself with others.

Book Review: Love Walked In and Belong to me- Marisa de los Santos

There are books you read simply because you love books. You flip through the pages, discovering the characters, and taking a look into their lives.

Then there are books that touch something inside your heart. The characters are more than just people on paper, they become a part of your life, their lives intertwine with yours. You can feel what they feel, their happiness, their fears, their apprehensions.

Love Walked in, and Belong to me belong in latter category. At least for me.

I read Love Walked In first. I had come across it while looking for books in Paperback Swap several months ago. In all honesty, it was the author's name that first incited my curiosity. I love reading Spanish/Latin authors, and her name made me wonder about her heritage. Still that wasn't enough for me to request the book. Months passed before I stumbled upon it again and this time I decided to give it a shot and see what it is about. I'm glad I did.

The main characters in this novel are Cornelia and Clare. Cornelia is a coffee shop manager in Philadelphia, and Clare is an 11 year old girl. In the first chapters in the book, we meet them and find out that Cornelia is still trying to figure out the rest of her life, loves her family even if they can drive her crazy at times (isn't that true of all families?). Clare is an only child who has never met her father. She has an eccentric mother and has begun to worry that her mom is off because of her erratic behavior.

I have to admit, the first few chapters I simply didn't understand how these two characters would find their way to each other. And that was the reason I kept on reading the book. I was hooked then.

A handsome man walks in the coffee shop one day and Cornelia, who is a fan of old Hollywood movies, believes this is the man of her dreams. We see how their relationship develops and how Cornelia begins to suspect that, perhaps, she was too quick on her assessment of him being the perfect guy.

So where is the love that walked in, as the title suggests? It isn't a romantic love. Clare turns out to be the daughter of Cornelia's boyfriend, the one he never mentioned until Clare showed at his doorsteps, having been abandoned by her bipolar mother.

It is the love between Clare and Cornelia that touched my heart, the love that walked in. Once she gets over the initial shock, Cornelia realizes that Clare has no one and needs her. And she begins to realize how much she needs Clare too.

Through the book, we see the bond between Cornelia and Clare grow stronger, until they become family. Don't we all have those people in our life, who weren't born into our blood family but are family nonetheless? I know I do.

Cornelia finds real love, Clare finds her mother again, and the book ends with Cornelia making the difficult decision to put some distance between her and Clare to allow Clare and her mom to bond once again. It was the love between these two strangers that touched my heart and made me realize that this same type love is still alive in this world.

Belong to me is not a sequel to Love Walked in. But Cornelia, her now husband Teo, and Clare are in this book also. I read the book because I could not wait to see what had happened to Cornelia and Clare.

Cornelia chooses to move out of the city into suburbia. Clare is living with her mom, being a typical teenager. Cornelia struggles making new friends in a place where people worry so much about appearances, about their kids attending the right school, having a manicured lawn, etc.

We meet Dev who is an incredibly intelligent teenager trying to fit in. His mother moves him across the country and they settle in the same neighborhood as Cornelia and Teo. Dev has never met his father. Cornelia becomes friends with Dev's mother Lake.

There is also Piper who is a model suburbia mother, trying to keep all things in order while trying to be there for her best friend Elizabeth who is dying of cancer. Piper is not an easy character to like. But through the illness and death of Elizabeth we begin to see her human side. She and Cornelia eventually become friends.

I guess this book is more about secrets, about pretending to be something you are not, and about letting people into your life.
We all have secrets, some darker than others. In this book, we see those secrets come to the surface. Piper has secrets and begins to realize she has not allowed herself to live her life because she has been too worried about what people would think of her. Lake has a secret that has dictated her cross country move and that shakes her relationship with her son Dev after it is revealed.

We see Cornelia and Clare still close, still family. And when everyone's secrets finally come out, it is that closeness, that sense of family that allows Cornelia to get passed the hurt, the shock, and embrace this new family that has opened up.

I loved every character in these two books. I loved their humanity. I'm sure everyone knows at least one person who resembles one of the characters. They are real, they have emotions, secrets, and aspirations as the rest of us. And their lives may resemble our own. They are human to me, and they reminded me of the good still left in this world.

Book Review: Can you keep a secret? by Sophia Kinsella

I'm participating in a reading challenge this year. The fact is I love books but needed a way to "spice up" what I read. Hence my decision to do this book challenge. It has proven to be a good decision!

How did I come about this book? I guess I should start by saying this is not the type of book I normally would pick up at the library. In a normal day, I would have passed right by it without a second glance. But one of the categories for this challenge is a Random book. One you just stumble upon at random, without thinking.

I marched into the local library with the idea the chosen book would find its way into my hands. Isn't that how random works? I tried to recall all the theories about randomness I heard while in school. Alas, none came to me. Still I just knew the book would find its way into my hands.

And it did. As I was walking down the aisle, waiting for the book to say "pick me, pick me", this book with pink cover stood out. I had to pick it up. For starters, why a pink cover? I'm not a fan of pink, so that was clue #1 this book may be a contender. Under normal circumstances, the color of the cover alone would have made me pass right by it without a second glance. I read the title and I knew I had to read it. I had to find out what this secret was about.

The book I read is "Can you keep a secret" by Sophia Kinsella. I'll be honest, I had only heard of her at passing. I found out later she has a trilogy of Shopaholic books. I'm not a big shopper, so never had any desire of reading these books.

I read the book in 2 days, I simply could not put it down. It was the perfect book for the kind of week I was having. I had a house full of sick children and one adult, and needed something to help me unwind at the end of the day.
Call it chick lit, or whatever you want. The fact is the minute I met Emma Corrigan, I liked her. She reminded me of most every one of my friends, wrapped up in one. She is trying to get ahead in the corporate world, while trying to figure out what exactly she wants out of life. Haven't we all experienced that at some point in our lives? I know I have.

Emma happens to hate flying, not something I share with her, as I wish I could fly to work every single day. She is flying back home after disastrous work meeting and ends up telling all her secrets to a complete stranger on the plane. She thought she was going to die and felt the need to tell someone all those things. The plane had hit turbulence and she was absolutely certain this was it. So she spilled the beans, from how she is killing a coworker's plant by feeding orange juice to what type of underwear she despises, and everything in between.

To say I like Emma is an understatement. I liked her immediately, mostly because I cannot imagine ever sharing my secrets with a strange man on an airplane.

Turns out the stranger is the CEO of the company she works for. Of course, she has no idea who he is until he shows up at work the next day and she realizes that's the man from the plane.

Their story takes a lot of delicious twists and turns that could never be captured accurately in film. The type of stuff that makes you stay awake passed your bedtime (even though you have to be up before the crack of dawn) just because you have to know what's going to happen to Emma next.

I devoured this book as easily as I devour a Ghiardelli chocolate bar. Guilty pleasure. I enjoyed meeting Emma, rejoiced with her when she found love, and felt her pain when she had her heart broken on national tv.

As I said before, I love books. Some are easier to read than others, some have a complex plot line that requires you to pay attention so you don't miss a thing. If you are looking for a delightful story that will make you laugh out loud, and cheer for a unlikely heroine, this book is for you. If you want a break from big complex fiction plots and just want to read something lighthearted, this book is for you.